Another day of existential dread (fun!)

I get hit every once in a while with an idea that feels really special… a mod for a game, a book/story idea, a poem, a project. Just something, and it comes at me from left field. I’m surrounded by family and friends who are achievers, goal followers and success-oriented. People have passions and purposes, and they often go after them. Its exciting, and honestly I’m envious. I’m lucky enough to have the luxury of time and money to pursue a new hobby or thing (i’m not doing a lot these days) but the problem for me is that I lack the will to keep up with my ideas. I think im pretty decent at writing, or atleast thats what people tell me. But for some reason i cant ever get through writing a few chapters of a story before loosing my intent or trying to make it too perfect. When i start to picture my projects on a large scope, the vastness of them daunts me, and i loose the interesting appeal of a new activity and start to see it as work. Maybe I’m bad at commitment, maybe its the poor attentionspan of our generation, maybe its my adhd or depression or maybe its a combination of all of those things. Anyhow, I just find myself bored and lonely, not really with purpose or enjoying shit, yet also not really in enough of a mood to find something to do? fuck, apathy is getting to me.