[Warriors OC fic] you're the only cat that matters - ch 1

Lightningpaw hadn’t even gotten the chance to look at Applepaw after Tigerstar called a retreat, he’d only seen her huddled shape on the ground as her father and one of the healers crouched beside her. Gingerleap was still covered in cobwebs and poultices when he shakily told Lightningpaw what had happened.

“She was coming at me so fast, I- I had to get her off of me. I didn’t think about how small she was.”

“She could die!” Lightningpaw spat, lurching forward with his hackles raised. “She could die and I’ll never see her again!”

Gingerleap’s expression hardened. He squared his shoulders, and Lightningpaw remembered just how tall he was when he didn’t slouch. “We’re at war, Lightningpaw. Redstar is pushing our borders hard, and Applepaw is his apprentice. There is no space for ThunderClan friendship right now.”

Lightningpaw flicked a curled ear. “I can’t just turn off my feelings.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have become a Clan cat!” Gingerleap snapped. Lightningpaw looked up at him and saw the regret in his eyes, but it didn’t matter. He bit back a betrayed whine and whipped around, pelting into the undergrowth. He ignored his mentor’s calls and whatever apology he was rattling off and ran harder until he spotted the creek marking ThunderClan’s border and skidded to a halt at its edge. Lightningpaw sat and tried to catch his breath, ripping his claws through the grass with a snarl.

I’m a Clan cat. I’m a Clan cat. I belong here just as much as anyone else.

He stared across the creek, where the forest continued just the same as it did on SkyClan’s side of the border. Applepaw had answered all of his questions about ThunderClan when they’d first met; she’d told him later how annoyed she was, but that Lightningpaw had been one of the only cats to be friendly even after she tried to push him away. I would never abandon you, he’d wanted to say. You’re my best friend. My only friend.

The bushes on the other side of the creek rustled. Lightningpaw stood swiftly and tried to keep his trembling under control. It had only been a few days since the battle, and now he was standing at the ThunderClan border.

“I’m alone!” He called when the patrol appeared, headed by a brown-pointed tom. Amberstrike! Applepaw’s father! “You’re just the cat I wanted to see,” he said breathlessly.

Amberstrike looked at him incredulously, wide ears pinned back. The rest of the patrol- a black-and-white molly with curled ears, a white molly, and a brown ticked tabby molly- looked to Amberstrike.

“What business does a SkyClan apprentice have with ThunderClan?” Amberstrike asked.

“You’re Applepaw’s father, right?” Lightningpaw unconsciously took a step forward, jerking back when the patrol bristled. “-Sorry. M-my name’s Lightningpaw. Is Applepaw alive?”

Amberstrike’s eyes flashed with something- shock, anger, sadness, Lightningpaw couldn’t tell. The brown molly growled in the back of her throat. She looks my age, Lightningpaw realized. Snakepaw! That’s her name. She was the one Applepaw’s brother was courting.

“That’s none of your business,” Snakepaw spat. Her pupils were blown.

“Please, I need to know. We’re friends.”

“Applepaw is not friends with SkyClan!”

“She’s friends with me! She’s my best friend!” Lightningpaw cried. “She’s all I have and the last time I saw her she was bleeding out from a wound my mentor gave her!” He stepped forward again, letting his paws sink into the softer dirt. “I have to know if she’s okay, please tell me she’s okay.”

Snakepaw’s hackles were rising steadily until the black-and-white molly positioned herself slightly in front of her, fluffy tail smoothing down Snakepaw’s fur. A mentor calming her apprentice to prevent conflict. Lightningpaw made himself look into Snakepaw’s hazel eyes and prayed she could see his sincerity.

“Applepaw is recovering,” Amberstrike said, voice flat. “She’s okay.” He didn’t sound confident, like when Gingerleap told Lightningpaw he’d be fine after twisting his hind paw. He isn’t sure if she’s okay. When would be the next time he saw Applepaw? A moon? Longer? Would they be warriors before they saw each other next? Would Applepaw even live to become a warrior?

No. No, no, no, she can’t die. This can’t be the last time I hear about her. “Can I see her?”

“What?” The white molly blurted.

“No, who do you think you are?” The black-and-white molly said sternly. Snakepaw glared at him.

Amberstrike raised his tail, and the patrol went silent. He stepped to the edge of the creek and stared at Lightningpaw. “Watch your mouth, SkyClan cat. We’re not letting you trespass to see our wounded apprentice. I don’t care if you’re friends, we’re at war.”

Applepaw, I just want to see you, Lightningpaw lamented, as if StarClan would drop her right in front of him and they could run off to talk and relax like they so rarely got to do. He didn’t have anyone in SkyClan anymore, not after he’d cut Gingerleap off so harshly. He’d have to go back to camp and find an excuse for why he was gone so long. And then he’d get in trouble and be confined to that stupid camp where all he could do was clean and tend to the elders and sit in a tree to try and watch ThunderClan’s territory.

Lightningpaw felt suddenly cold. If Gingerleap found out he had been talking to a patrol, begging to see his ThunderClan friend, Lightningpaw would never be allowed near her again. He was never going to see her, even if she recovered. She’d go to their meeting place at the farm and wonder where he was, wonder if he’d forgotten her.

I would never abandon you. I would never abandon you. You’re my best friend, Applepaw, you’re the only cat that matters to me.

You’re the only cat that matters.

“I want to join ThunderClan.”

--------------------

[second chapter here!]

lightningpaw would join a dictatorship for his friend and that is not a good thing. it is a terrible terrible thing that he would do just to feel secure. but it IS important to know that lightningheart does not stay Like That. constant trauma is a bitch and creates very unhealthy coping mechanisms and lightningheart doesnt get the chance to learn how to form relationships until the entire fucking war is over. he and applestrike have a good and healthy devotion to each other as adults and lightningheart forms many more bonds when he and applestrike create their own group far away from the clans