its snowing

its noon now, its been snowing all night and morning. i think its like 5 inches out there? im listening to kacey musgraves right now. i love kacey musgraves. about my blog last night, i think i might delete it LOL. maybe im just self sabotaging again. i was fine for a while but ive been in a mood again the past few days. it was mostly frustration because at JV GMCs i was talking to laila sophie liz and liv and she who shall not be named came up and we talked about what she did to me, what she did to laila, and what she continues to do to angel. we talked about how many times angel called me a slut after we broke up, which obviously doesn't feel good. its almost like im not upset about it actually happening, im upset about the concept. does that make any sense? like im not upset because HE called ME a whore, im upset that any 14-15 year old boy would call a 14-15 year old girl a slut at all. i know he did it to feel like a man tho. he wanted to feel like he could drink a beer with his daddy and talk about bitches, and it just happened to be at my expense. i dont really wanna know what he said about me. as long as he didnt show anybody my 14 year old ass i truly dont care. i know most of it was lies anyway. all i know is that he told everybody we almost fucked at bailey park?? it was august first of all, ever heard of bugs?? i dont want a mosquito in my vagina you fucking freak. but also, we didnt even kiss?????? like not even once??????? we sat on the swings in general silence for twenty minutes, he walked me the rest of the way home, and he left. that was literally it. if holding hands makes me a huge slut, ill get it tattooed on my fucking forehead and own it til i die. whats so frustrating is on top of all of that, everybody just like. stayed friends with him. hello????? i get that a lot of them werent friends with me, and they dont owe me anything, but i wouldnt stay friends with a dude who spoke about any girl like that. laila didnt stop being friends with him until she was personally fucked over, and sophie is still friends with him. like right now. and tehyre telling me this as if im not gonna have a problem with the fact that they heard him say awful things about me and went "well. that sucks!" and moved on with their lives. i really do not like that. sophie has never liked me and i know that, but id consider laila my friend. at least i used to, i feel like i have to keep her at an arms distance now. ive just been very depressed today. i started writing this at noon and its 5:55 right now. so theres that. i just hate staying home all day. i was supposed to have gmcs and practice and now im just laying here. for hours and hours and hours. its a fucking nightmare. i cant go anywhere tho cause the roads are all covered in 6 inches of snow. so i sit! but yeah, the whole slut thing got me down, if you can even call it that. im just not feeling great. im not loving my friend group, im not loving my life, im just existing right now. ugh.