It's all my fault but i do nothing about it.

I don't feel hungry but I don't feel full,

I don't know why this is happening to me. Maybe its the guilt of being a greedy glutton, maybe it's the level of self awareness I have.

I have no motivation and drive to do anything long term, maybe I was doomed to fail. But I know it's all in my head, yet I do nothing to help myself. 

I place the blame on my shoulders where it should be, since nothing will work if it doesn’t start with me.

I know the problem, I am the problem.

I can't even say that I hate living, I don't deserve to utter those words when I failed myself. 

I tried everything to be enthusiastic, but my negativity ruins me.

I always wondered what happened to me, I used to shine but now I'm just a dimmed light. 

Whose to blame? No one but me, the repeating cycle of loathing and self hatred scares me. 

I don't wanna die alone yet that's the path I'm walking on, I can turn back now but why does it feel like I can't move.

(Self hatred bullshit cuz I can't sleep and apparently I needed something out of my system.)