First time irl relationship is a weird thing

I'm used to yearning for a person i have never met face to face, i was in a committed if not slightly codependent discord relationship for a full year in my late teens. This is my first time properly dating after that, i didn't think i would really feel the stuff people describe in a relationship, we're six months in and now i'm finally kinda feeling stuff instead of just kinda going with the good vibes. I knew i liked Kitkat i just didn't really feel any of it, i liked seeing them happy and i liked hanging out, and i liked giving them gifts, but physical and especially emotional intimacy felt kinda off. Before i left for a two week trip to the north, me and Kitkat had been a lot more physically and emotionally close, and then i just had to leave after those milestones. Now i'm one week into the trip and i'm crying a bit, because i wish Kitkat was here with me and i could cuddle them instead of going to sleep alone. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE NONCHALANT WHAT IS THIS  >:C

And ik they're home having a hard time, idk what's up with them, it started after i left sorta. So not only do i miss kisses and cuddles, i'm also worried that they're not doing well. They're oversleeping and being antisocial, dissociating as well i think. I gotta go over there as soon as i get back home. Idk if i should ask a mutual friend if everything is alright, i do trust them to tell it to me themselves, but if they don't wanna worry me while i'm on vacation they might not tell me idk? But tbh they're not the most considerate or socially aware person so, maybe i already know everything.

In a nutshell: Stupid NEET misses his partner.