Ep-4 __Ending the cycle of my anxious attachment with avoidants.

Continuation of ep 3

I couldn't sit with these feeelings anymore and i had to let it out for my wellbeing. as for i was overthinking if i should even talk to him or not after that ghosting session. But yk what - fuck it. He wasnt being any empathetic either.

so i texted him if he is really okay and he replied yea he is fine and wassap. 

I followed up with ''then why'd you that ? why'd you ghost me for 2 days ? why'd you love bomb me this whole time and then disappear and then comeback and act like nothing happened?'' 

to which he replies - ''I agree, I'm afraid of any kind of attachment and i feel like the same thing that happened with my ex will happen again all over'' 

I was like ...

so I told him we were never official, so there was no obligation for daily texts (he was the one doing it btw and i reciprocated ) ...and if that bothered him, he should've just said something instead of pulling away. n i also called him out for going hot and cold without explaining why, and reminded him he's not the only one with the past relationships trauma.. that's not an excuse to be avoidant or leave someone confused.

I mean - idk what to feel about this anymore. Is it like a hobby or something for people now a days? why are people so frickin emotionally dumb and immature. like this fella was legit like an emotionally aware person..that was the reason why i felt so connected to him in the first place! 

but just being aware of it is not enuf - you have to fuckin act on it and be a better human for god's sake! 

and the audacity of him to say'' i didnt just talk wid you because of the validation and attention but also cause i felt like we were so alike .. i hope to see you sometime'' 

I FUCKING HOPE NAWTT!!