Waiting for something

It’s mid year right now and I miss feeling excited for things around me! Lately my life has been reduced to excessive screen time and absolute suffering! As in this, pressure, supposedly it’s to motivate me to study or do something productive and change myself to be a better person but I just can’t stand it! I’m only free on Sundays and even then I still don’t feel satisfied! And the people around me do not help me one bit! I just keep watching them from the corner wondering how to get good just like them, in order to get in their group and be described like a normal person not some, oh they’re just like that!, but whatever! It doesn’t really matter, I have better things to think about, like what my future should be! But I hate just hoping! What if all the things I wanted were to never come true and I would just try to forget and move, so I’m just waiting for something to happen and turn this around!