grocery store work stories

i work at a little starbucks inside of a grocery store.

i don't have many elaborate stories or narratives, but i have a large collection of incidents, which i'll gladly list off now:

- caught someone trying to steal over $1000 of pistachios
- bagged groceries for a customer who bought every bag of cheetos in our store
- didn't directly witness but worked on a day where a customer pooped on our floor
- saw a coworker hit somebody while backing up in an electric shopping cart
- heard a guy screaming "bloody murder" just because he couldn't to wait for a clerk to come over and unlock a pharmacy cabinet
- one of my coworkers comes by to get a chocolate milk whenever i'm working because he likes the way i make it (i stir all the chocolate off the walls of the cup so it mixes into the drink)
- there's this guy who used to stand in front of the pokemon card machine for 12 hours a day (not kidding, he'd be there 2 hours before my shift and 2 hours after) every damn day
- there's this guy who comes in in a fedora and full suit and just stares at girls and rides around in an e-bike
- my coworker robert has once pushed 40 shopping carts simultaneously and i tried to beat his record but my manager caught me and stopped me.

that's about it for incidents.

but i'd also like to talk about some of my favorite customers and coworkers! 

my favorite customer, robert, comes in, does grocery shopping, comes to starbucks to grab a water, and yaps about videogames for like 30-60 minutes. usually fallout, starfield, windrows, and similar such games. also movies and anime, like battleship yamato. also ww2 stuff. fun dude. looks cool too although he's not in the best shape and i'm worried for his health. i like him because he isn't afraid to be himself and of to present his flaws. all he does is play games, he's constantly on edibles, annnd he's getting old. none of these things really seem to bother him much - in fact, he's willing to talk about these things constantly. these days, he's watching his blood sugar quite closely. which is good!! although i can tell he misses the store's potato wedges.

my favorite coworker would have to be... well... hm..... i like most of my younger coworkers because they're funny and entertaining, but honestly, i love working with my most quiet coworker jacob the most. the reason for this is because, whenever i have a shift with him, i am oddly quite productive, and so the day goes by quicker. he's the most consistent worker as well - never in a poor mood and never really upset by things. and his small talk is always quite nice. stuff like, "jeez those brats just can't pay for a full drink, huh?"

i do have some other coworkers who are sometimes more interesting or more fun to talk to, but when it comes to getting through the day, jacob is the easiest to work with.