On a random Friday

Major life update, but I have a date planned this Saturday. I'm really sure how to start because I'm still processing everything that went down Friday. 

I made some new friends back in October and I met someone, at the time I thought absolutely nothing of it since he's a co-worker. Over time, we started to spend more time together in group settings and I started enjoying his company more. I honestly didn't think anything of it since my mind had already been all over the place from work and my mom's fuckass behavior, I wasn't thinking about my feelings for him. I just knew that I like talking to him and something about him feels so familiar, everything just felt so easy when it came to him but I didn't want to think too deep into it. If anything, I felt bad for even developing feelings for him because it felt like I was projecting my emotions onto a good guy who just so happens to be near me, therefore, I had no intention of letting my feelings known. Not only is he my co-worker but he's my friend, it almost felt unfair to him for me to like him. That was until Friday, I invited him over after work to watch a movie I've been meaning to watch, and lead to us watching another movie, eating together, sharing a pre-roll with my roommate, walking to the gas station, and us talking for hours on end. Naturally, our conversation was going in the direction like most do when the two people conversing obviously like each other, "What's the closest to a relationship you've gotten to?" "Are you a hopeless romantic?" "Are you obvious when you like someone?" Did I lead the conversation? Of course I did, so can I say I did this to myself? Maybe. Regardless, I was still shocked when he told me then and there that he likes me, even more shocked when he told me he first noticed me in our summer training in August before we started working together. He said he thought I was really pretty but didn't think he'd see me again after that, as well as after becoming friends with me he said he's feelings started to grow. I told him my feelings for him changed after the night we went bar hopping with our friends and I couldn't keep myself off of him, I realized I clearly didn't see him as just as a friend and for a moment that scared me. Until it didn't when I realized how thoughtful his gifts were, or how he'd always remember something I forgot, or how I'd find the word he was looking for, or how we quietly laugh when we catch something no one else did, or how quick he was to offer help, I knew there was something more. Finding excuses to be near each other on the clock, sharing photos of my day with him, letting me borrow his cd's, briefly meeting his mom, I wasn't expecting any of it but I didn't mind it either. And now we plan on going to the aquarium this Saturday! 

I'm taking it one step at a time and for the most part have been keeping it to myself, I don't want to get too ahead of myself but I like the pace we've been going. It feels right and so comfortable, I refuse to not let myself enjoy it at least a little.