butchers forest

my book butchers forest is a horror book but based around the theme largely of suicide. the main character is a highschool boy who heard about one of his classmates that committed suicide. he sees a photo of his horrifying body and realizes he doesn't think it was suicide.

i sent it to my coworker, cuz he was begging to read it. he got through the first 2 chapters and already picked up on the fact suicide is a very prominent topic.

he asked me if i was familiar with the situation, so i assumed he meant did someone i know kill their self.

i told him no, that all of my writing comes from a very personal outlook. meaning, i've tried to kill myself before and i've wanted to for a while. not anymore, but it's not a foreign thought or topic to me.

i'm used to people just going "lol same" so i didn't expect him to nod and listen intently as i literally just said 2 sentences about it. as if he had realized something in me did decide i wanted to die at one point in my life. like he understood the weight of what i was very lightly saying.

it sounds stupid because it's like "obviously it's a touchy subject" but people don't treat stuff like that seriously anymore. humor is a coping mechanism, and we're all racing to be the worst in the group. 

i've been hurt worse, my cuts are deeper, i have more attempts than you do.

why can't we just look at each other?

anyways, i thought it was very sweet. he realized i decided to stay.