just my feelings given to my by my own parents

my parents made me cry the whole day, I had a severve headache and not once did they asked how I am , also I did not felt like eating any thing so I didn't 

but instead they came I thought I am showing attidue by sleeping the entire day and not eating ?????? 

my head was blasting and not once they asked Abt that

I had stomach ache in morning and didn't eat cause of that , well even if I told them I had a stomach ache they just going to ignore it by giving a pill and fee cusses so I did tell cause it was my paper too , didn't want to ruin my mood

.. my sis came to chat with me around 10 pm and we laughed afterwards I felt okay and went to brush my teeth , she was sleeping in my parents room there is a extra bed there, .. and I said the line from ZOOTOPIA 2 that one that beavers say ' it takes a threesome to be something and I a forsome to bust ur doorway' in a dramatic tone and than my father happedne to wake up from that and thought I was scolding her and stared saying mean things 

' my name' is going to be wasted from my hands one day 

what father u and mom tell me to die every day and shout at me for lil things, I know I had anger issus when I was 7 to 13 cause it was all I had ever faced from an other human being and it was u two

but now I am big and dead so I don't now 

grow up u both too it's u two that have anger issues

I slept the whole that caise my father always says that to sleep after finishing the big exams , and not use phone 

if I had used phone they would have said that u only stuidd and give exams to use phone and restrictions would have been made on my screentime the day I finished my school

so I slept thinking to make them happy and escape scolding

but it backfired they thought I was made at them and avoiding them by sleeping......

seriously I was to be my heartfelt day but instead it got wanted to be avoiding these two saying I die

my dad ruined my whole mode for my exam , if was the bio exam I g I made a suciede joke and he gor riled up what why would I say that? what do u mean papa when u urself say every week day ur biggest wish and desire is to kill me by ur own hands and don't care is u went to jail

two days before I was in my room again I slept cause I had a bad exam but that took it that same way they took the yesterday thing 

my mom kept saying to go to her room as it's colder , after doing chores I again went to my room the. remembered what she had been saying so I went to her room 

the. she brought a sandwich to my room , but I wasn't there and then she said ' where are u died  , hope u die bitch '

but mom I just did what u asked

then they come when I am twrilling in pain and and stand for state at me form my door and ask 

' if we have done somt forgive us ( in the msg disgustfull , sacastics and hate full tone) don't know why u were born 

stop this , I can't suicide cause they have already told me a billions times too and made fun of me for killing myself in future

I am sorry okay I am sorry that u had me , what should I do 

my exams were absolute waste and just I think Abt the way they would hit him on my result day 

everyone had some one they were hugging and crying to firneds and parent on math exam day cause it was hard except me I cried alone 

then how can I smile , for 17 years this has been going on now I am tired , and I am no longer a child who thinks that mummy papa said those things cuss it was my own mistake - no it was not , my being short is not my mistake mum, and no I should not die just cause I am short I don't deserve to die cuass I am short , nobody has ever pointed it out expet u mum 

and the short thing one I heard it when I was 11 !! 11 

(oh how sad aiyami was just a child I could protect her , how was surving that daily I am so so sorry aiyami , the one who could turned 12 I am sorry u thought u would change and u tried to but it did got better I am sorry )