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growing up and healing is almost as scary as staying in it
i hold on to all my feelings, good or bad, i'm terrified to let them go
the version of him that had all that hurt was also beautiful, but he grew up, he doesn't hold on to any of the negative feelings he used to have
but that makes me feel so sad,
even though healing seems to be the goal right?
why do i like having hurt, it's like i cant let myself move on from anything
seeing them really made me realize, i made it through, i made it through high school, college, jobs i loved and jobs i hated, friends that stayed and ones that left
i was twelve when i started listening to them, not only did i grow up but so did they. but there's something so bittersweet about it.
something so daunting about growing up, i can refer to the most beautiful moments in life for this
i know for sure that teenagers know something kids don't and adults forgot, and i think it's how close we hold other people to us
how easily we let people in and how deep those connections can go, the chaos and experimenting and all the emotions we feel
im almost 20, i started writing on here when i was 17
twenty, no longer a teen
i might forget it, and that's going to kill me
holding on to everything i feel like i will never feel it again
i don't really wanna grow up but i've aged myself so much already, just by the way i don't have any friends my age, i drink and go out like im 23, my responsibilities are too serious
but im also not grown up enough
im everything everywhere all at once and if i blink ill lose it all
my amygdala
im scared to let go
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