eight months later

I certainly should have known better than to say I would be a lot more active eight months ago in my summer entry. That was a nice time, I'm glad I captured that. I cut off all of my grown out colorful hair and gained and lost weight again and wore mostly brown with a brown wig and then mostly black with a black wig and became pale and cried and was afraid most of the winter as it tends to go and now spring is here and I'm blooming into myself again. I gave up wearing my glasses except to write and read at night. I screamed in my car and painted my eyes blue and green and white and rollerskated and went to shows with my friends and did some secretive things and travelled by train and plane and spent too much money and got accepted to transfer to a university and started medicine and drive a stupid truck now, but I'm learning stick shift. I danced a lot. I danced with someone beautiful and fell in love with someone beautiful, and you, my imaginary audience that doesn't exist as these are shouts into a digital void, should consider yourself lucky I have a diary that can hold pages and pages of everything I love about him or else I'd pour it all out in entirety right here right now. It is 1 am and I hope to see the sunrise today and I hope to sleep first so I really don't have the time. But I love him like I could never love anyone else. that statement is a little silly because of course love is unique person to person. but he is truly rare. he is the feeling of driving home when you're small and you're looking out the window and the moon is following the car as if it is holding your gaze. he is the smell of pine and the glow of lightning bugs and stars. he is inspiring and sincere and has a strong and beautiful heart. I am so proud to love him. I am so lucky to be loved by him. I must sleep oughghrghrhgfdhhshfdhfhdsfa