3/9/2026

a shorter update today as i don't really feel like writing but know i need to get some of it out. last night really pushed me over the edge. after everything that i have went through the past year and a half and the amount of life-long health issues i will now be facing from this abuse, finding out the ONE person i relied on and confided in, post-affair, was still speaking with my abuser hurts. i was actually having the first GOOD day since packing my stuff up and leaving, all for it to come crushing down. i already had such deep-cut trust issues from this, that finding out one of the few people who i still put trust in and knew the entire situation was still actively speaking and even enjoying spending time with the cause of it, while i am actively losing my mind, was just what i needed to detach entirely. i deleted everything anyone could contact me on; besides this, my pinterest, and my facebook for family. this situation officially retired me. i am done with getting close to anyone for a good long while. there is no more cravings to establish friendships, as lonely as i am. i just want to disappear completely, and everyday it gets a little easier to hide. who knows? i may truly drop off the face of the earth if one more thing goes wrong; i genuinely cannot take even one more inconvenience.