My ex

We were together only for 4 months, few years ago, when we were both stupid teenagers. Yet I still think about her. 

I don't know if I would realize I'm lesbian if it wasn't for her interest in me. But the relationship itself also made me question to feel romantic emotions towards someone.

I cared for her deeply, yet she still broke up with me because she figured out it wasn't love. I can't blame her. 

I want to be in a relationship, but the other person would have to be fine with me not loving them. And that's too much to ask from them. 

I dread lonely future, however since when I was little, in it I saw noone besides me. 

Since her I had and have bunch of occasions to get into relationships, to try again, because maybe fault isn't in me and it was in her. Never took them, I'm too scared of hurting someone.

How to accept that?