a peak of crisis

Today I went to my appointment, and I'm having a mixed bipolar episode, all because of a damn assignment. I found out about this assignment almost at the last minute, and obviously, I panicked and had a depressive episode and was incredibly stressed. I felt so bad about not being able to hand in the assignment that I had a breakdown. Today I'm a little better. I have to take another medication [lithium] because I had su!c!d4l thoughts, and it will stabilize me so I don't think like that. And yes, I wanted to k!ll myself just because I wasn't going to be able to hand in that damn assignment. Now I'll have to get academic support at school until I feel a little better. I'm going to rest all day today and study a little for my religious education exam without overloading myself too much. Anyway, that's it. I'll bring updates in the next few days. Bye!