revisiting reinvention

i had a really fun conversation last night and i've spent most of my day so far thinking about it so i want to just write it down.

about six months ago i wrote about reinvention feeling performative and difficult, but i think i was focusing on all the wrong parts of reinvention. i was worrying about who to unfollow on instagram and blocking people from my phone and i made reinvention more about people's perception of me than about my own feelings of my identity.

i find the internet to be this suffocating and yet somehow also hollow space where art is posted only if the artist thinks its good enough and not 'embarassing' to be percieved. how do we battle with our vulnerabilities being percieved? being percieved is essential to share art, and if we don't share art we cant create communities to find people. to be percieved for being human is one of the greatest gifts we can ask from the communities we find, and im slowly letting go of the fear i've been socially molded to have of sharing my feelings.

six months later, i am looking at reinvention as a way to find myself by doing my hair different, taking off my make up, eating fruits i've never tried before, witing more than ever before, and seeing what sticks. my reinvention is based on what i can do for myself and how i can change for the person i see in the mirror everyday.