hate. i also write this a few years ago. tw// implied abuse

hate is a funny thing. before i met you, i was afraid to use such a strong word because i knew i would never be able to take it back. however, i can safely say you are the one and only person i can say i hate.

i once thought that i loved you. but the person i loved wasnt really you, was it? it was the person you wanted me to love. behind those gentle smiles and caring eyes was a monster and i wish i had realized that sooner. the years of pain and torture you put me through will never go away. and i hate you for that. 

i will never be able to erase the damage you did to me. i am forever tainted by the touch of your hands. i will never feel free again. i will never get back the years i spent begging you to stop, begging you to care about me and love me. i will never feel safe around another man. i will never be free again.

someday, i will tell my story. when that day comes, you will be sorry you ever hurt me.