Screaming Into the Void 2/18/26

I haven’t posted in a while, life is just funky like that I guess?? 

The biggest change is been new potion at work that I hate more than what I was doing. Now I’m in a job I hate but also on my feet all the time and forced to be far more social. 

I know being social is really important but it makes me far more tired than I was. It takes so much effort to come off normal to other people and not off putting or just downright stupid because I feel like I don’t understand. Most times conversations with people feel like talking to a rock wall. There’s this wall of not understanding that appears and I feel like I’m missing something when having conversations. 

I feel like I’m far more in the way, that I’m not doing my job well, and I have no idea of knowing if that’s true without perpetually seeking validation from people. That seems worse somehow. 

I do like blogging but I half wonder if maybe I should do this sort of thing on another platform just as anonymously. Mainly because I often forget this app exists, maybe if I do the screaming into the void thing on like Tumblr I’ll be inclined to write more. Because I like rambling and I like writing! Maybe if I pick an app I already rapidly scroll on I’ll do that more. 

I’ve tried physical journals, I like them well enough but it takes effort to sit and write and remember what I want to write vs my phone which is really convenient. 

If I do move to tumblr I wonder if I’ll have people respond. Yes I’m screaming int the void but sometimes I do wonder if it will scream back at me on occasion, and then I feel a little less desperately alone.