love. i wrote this a few years ago.

Being used to a feeling for so long and then all of the sudden, its gone, its like the world is turned upside down in the blink of an eye. You feel so alone. So useless. You spent years thinking they were the one. You fell for them so hard, how could they not be? The gentle stares, the hidden smiles and the skip of a heartbeat when they smile. The second you see them you fall harder than you even thought was possible. You knew they had to be the one. 

It was perfect… until it wasn’t… and then it all goes downhill from there. The strong connection you had before fades away into the darkness of loneliness once again. Its crazy how even though you might be surrounded by so many people that love you, you can feel so alone. So trapped. Its almost like it becomes dark. For so long your life was brightened by this persons smile and then all of the sudden they aren’t yours anymore. it hurts deeper than anyone could imagine. 

Heartbreak after heartbreak, fight after fight, it never gets easier but you still sit there and think they’re the one. They have to be the one. The butterflies in your stomach every night, not being able to sleep without telling them how you feel turns into the soundless screams and cries into your pillow that leave you feeling defeated and hurting. The thought of them even looking at someone else like they looked at you makes you feel sick to your stomach. The conversations you’ve had, the memories you’ve made, they’ll just fade away and be replaced by the person they replaced you with.

i love yous turn into awkward silence as you look into each others eyes, wishing things could be different but knowing that this street is only going one way. And the car is out of gas. all of these years, the memories, the smiles, the dances, the sunsets and the walks by the water seem to be that of a love story that is no longer being written. The author has given up on the two teens that used to be so in love. It used to feel like it was us against the world but its turned into you against them. You know that its just not the right time, but that can’t be how it ends. There has to be more to the story.