HER throughout the emotions

Fuck your past and your future.
I will not fall to my knees
for something I have to beg for.

I didn’t want this to become another lesson.
I wanted this to be love.
Maybe in another life
I’m the one she chooses.
Just because I let her go
doesn’t mean I wanted to.

Sometimes I imagine a future
where we’re washing dishes together,
laughing about how close we came
to giving up on each other.
Silly me—
thinking she cared.

When people treat you like they don’t care,
believe them.
I’m learning that slowly, painfully—
how to loosen my grip
on the things I feel too deeply.

Everything I’ve lost
never seemed to love me back.
No regrets.
She was a good lesson.
I was quiet,
but I was never blind.

Maybe in another universe—
but I really wanted it to be this one.
I wanted to give her every flower I found,
but instead
I let them be.
I let her be.

She deserves someone
who wants to stay.

She knew how to love me with words,
but her actions
always spoke another language.
Love—
how do you know you’re in it
when it hurts,
yet you still want to stay?

One day,
I’ll forget what missing her feels like.
Why cling to a pain
I know I wouldn’t survive
if it returned?

Give me flowers.
I promise
I will never forget you.

Don’t let anyone save you for later.
And if she ever starts to miss me,
I hope she remembers—
I didn’t leave.
She pushed me away.

Onnaya