when i go outside and people look at me they look genuinely scared, like im a monster or a criminal, even when im dressed "normal" and not wearing makeup. am i really that repulsive? i dont understand.
its like theres a demon looming over me all the time and only other people can see it. and its always been there because even when i was a toddler there was something repulsive about me that made people want to stay away from me and theres nothing i can do to make it go away. god knows i tried. but in the end my efforts were fruitless so i gave up. a very anti climactic end to a fight, i must say. 1 star.
thats why i make no effort to talk to anyone, even online (srry ppl in my friends list), because even though my demon is easier to hide when my face is also hidden, it comes out eventually and people can sense it.
i dunno why im writing this coz i usually never talk about this problem of mine specifically. its embarrassing. i know im an inherently unlikeable person but i just wish people wouldnt look at me the way they do.
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✮ Jay ✮
ignore them, they’re just petty smh. Ur not repulsive no one is. And if they look at u that way then it means they also have no life and all they can do is judge.
And there is always a way to improve, it won’t be easy but just being self aware is the first step! Ur not as unlikable as u think u are and are unchangeable! Don’t let ur mind manipulate u into thinking that! Our minds love to do that for some reason. But pretty much anyone can change. U don’t have to do so at this moment, whenever ur ready. But just remember that, kk?
ℜ𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔞'𝔰 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔬𝔰
They're jealous :3