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hello again! i've been having a really weird winter break and i decided i may as well type it out. since last semester ended, i've been going to bed really late. and by that, i mean REALLY late. yesterday i went to bed at 10 pm. normal, right? i went to bed at 10 pm after around a week of going to bed later and later until i did a full circle around the clock.
i'm staying with my parents for the break, and my mom got kind of offended by the fact i was going to bed at 11 am and sleeping the whole time she was awake. they took me to our family doctor, at noon, so i had one hour of sleep. because of that lack of sleep and a few other things i'm not gonna share publicly with strangers, she decided i'm psychotic and tried to put me on medication.
i refused the medication ofc, but she told me to double the dose of my sleeping medication if i wasn't going to take the new ones. i did, and had three full days of lying on the ground staring at the ceiling, staring at the wall and ripping paper into small pieces, and fidgeting uncontrollably. after that, i went completely off my medication (i've been on it for 3 years now, so it was a big deal). because of that, i've been shaky, i have no appetite, i'm severely dehydrated, etc.
i saw a sleep specialist yesterday, and she told me to stick to a consistent sleep schedule. i thought that was hilarious, because that's the entire problem. it's like going to a doctor for an illness and they tell you to stop being sick. i really don't know what to do at this point, and i don't want to have to take a semester off because of my sleep issues. she basically told me i have DSPS, and i never actually had insomnia.
oh yeah, and my grandmother died of covid today. its been a rough winter break :P
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