Do you have "Internal Silence"?

[BREAKING] New developments in the OCD department of my mind.

For the past week, I've been intermittently employing a new method to address my rituals. It came to me after watching The Nun's Story starring Audrey Hepburn. There were several moments in the film where a nun-superior was teaching the trainees about the belief and theory behind a nun's duty.

The idea that stood out to me was that one of these superiors said something along the lines of "only doing things presently" and having an "internal silence". This is also paired up with the ideas that they're apparently not supposed to have attachments, so there were scenes in the film where Audrey Hepburn's character alluded to having to detach from memories and fondness of things from the past since they're not supposed to have any (material) attachments.

Any who, consciously or unconsciously (it's kind of at a weird middle ground between being aware and rejecting awareness), I've been employing this "internal silence". It's a different feeling than just not talking externally and internally. It feels like a genuine absence of thought despite the fact that I am still doing my Counts during the rituals. I wonder if this is what normal people experience. It almost feels like a superpower to me to silence my mind and have that sole present focus on what I want to do.

It's different than... everything else I've done, it feels like. Even when I focus on doing an activity and lack that internal voice (e.g., homework), my brain feels like mushy, swirling thoughts. It's not quiet. When I employ this "internal silence" (Consciously, by the way), it feels much quieter in my head. A pseudo-"flow state" mayhaps for the young'uns here; that is, it's a step below a flow state since flow state has less thinking. I'm still thinking but... my mind... feels... "emptier" (I'm not sure about "clearer").

Thank you.

6 January 2026 (12:39 AM)