I wish I would sparkle

When I wear an outfit that makes me feel really pretty, cool and chic and walk somewhere, anywhere, like I'm the most confident person out there, maybe even smoke a cigarette while I do so, I always think how disappointed someone would be, if they talked to me in that moment. 

I wish I could have a sparkling and interesting and obscure personality. Odd and off-putting, but in the way that makes you endearing. I wish I could be someone that tells great stories and makes everyone feel like they are special. Someone people love to talk to.

Instead I stumble over my words and overthink everything I say. I make awkward pauses, talk too fast or don't talk at all. Sometimes I don't have anything worth talking about and sometimes I interrupt others or forget to ask questions.