December

The tears burn me when I cry

'Cause my skin is too dry

Every year is the same

Every year goes by

I am lonely on these days

It seems to be only way

How this day happens

How I wish I was born in May

I should not be here

Two months early 

I lament

And I peer

At those around me celebrating

Celebrating together

I have no cheer

I crave to disappear into the snow

For my blood to no longer flow

Forget this broken heart

Forget this feeling, so low

Every year gets worse

I'm surprised I'm not in a hearse

Ever since he passed away

Ever since you left me cursed

I envy

You couldn't have left at a worse

Time isn't healing my 

Wounds gouged too deep

I should not exist

Two months, I should have waited

I shed my tears

And I look at everyone through the glass

As they are laughing and smiling

Celebrating with each other

I have no one here

I have no one here

I cannot see clear

As I walk out into the snow

With open arms and frostbitten ears

I embrace the cold

'Cause there is no one else to hold

Janus cannot come soon enough

And so I shall fold

Written by me on the 24th of December 2025. Written for my strong dislike, hatred for my birthday and Christmas/ holiday season, anyone with a birthday so close to Christmas will understand how much you are forgotten on your own birthday. I have always hated December, stuff always goes wrong in my family or my life in December, I don't know why, but it just does. Again, this has been the roughest end to a year I have had in a long time. I will be honest, I do not know if Charlie and I will get back together, hence why a lot of my poems have been directed towards of influenced by him, as he was and still is a large part of my life and makes me feel whole. But I will heal. I just need to take my time.