Dear Charlie

I feel like I'm gripping onto a rose

The thorns digging deep

Digging deeper into my hands

Yet you're so beautiful

But why must you hurt me, like this,

At your convenience?

I still want

I still need

To hold you in my arms one last time

I don't want to be hurt again, to be alone again

I love you, I love you too much

I love you

But good god, do you know how to hurt me

You know what upsets me, yet still...

I love too hard, too much

Too needy, I am too needy

I gave you so many times

So many tries

So many tears

Yet every attempt was futile

My body is eating itself alive

And you had no idea, so oblivious,

How much I wanted you

How much I needed you

I am starving

And you left me in famine

Am I too much?

Too much for you?

I still want you, I still need you

And I have nothing left to give

You had me on my knees for you

Wrapped around your little finger

Begging for crumbs of your attention

Yet you remained oblivious to my pain

I want you so badly

I love you so badly

Were we doomed from the start?

Or can we save us?

Only time will tell

But I still wished upon a meteor

I am so cold 

So alone

In this dark winter

No fire to keep me warm

No love to wake up to

No one to put me to bed

I hope you grow into something better

I hope you bloom in the spring

I hope you shed your thorns

I hope you want to see me again

I love you

Written in early/ mid December 2025 by me. I wrote this after breaking up (by which I mean we are taking a break, currently) with my partner, Charlie. It was a way and still is a way of coping with this hard part of my life, this has been the worst December I've had since my grandfather passed whilst I broke up with my cheating ex in 2017. I sent this to Charlie as a way to express some of the things I wasn't able to say to him in person.