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i feel like a human templates
like a background character
like whatever god created me, used spare pieces to make me, and now i exist to be used for spare pieces, something to make another, better thing with
like everything i say or think is just basic things about me, theres nothing below the skin i have but more skin
i have nothing that makes me special and i feel like a liar for making my friends believe theres more to me
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sometimes i wish something couldve happened to me to make me feel this way, but compared to everyone else i know, im fine, ive got nothing compared to them
i feel selfish and entitled for thinking that way but i think in some sense its true
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i tend to lie a lot, i dont know why
it doesnt even feel good and i lie about basic shit too
i dont think anything about me is really real, or holds any real merit to makes what humans normal
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Melaraine
This feels really honest, and I’m glad you shared it. Feeling “surface level” or empty doesn’t mean you actually are—it just means you’re disconnected from yourself right now, and that can happen even when nothing “big” caused it. You don’t need trauma or some defining event to justify feeling this way. Feeling lost or hollow is still real, even if everything looks “fine” on the outside.
You’re not a background character or spare parts. The fact that you can put these thoughts into words already shows there 𝘪𝘴 something underneath the skin, even if it doesn’t feel solid yet. Feeling like you’re lying about who you are doesn’t mean you’re fake—it usually means you’re still figuring yourself out.
And you’re not selfish for thinking any of this. Being human is confusing and messy, and none of us are as “normal” as we think everyone else is. This post doesn’t read as empty to me at all—it reads as someone who’s questioning, aware, and trying to understand themselves. I really appreciate you being this raw.
( ´︶` )