can i even be happy?? whatever... new years resolutions...2026 goals!!!!

Hello SpaceHey

I woke up like maybe 30 minutes ago from a very scrumptious 10 hour sleep

I feel better than yesterday but I still feel like I am going to die 

my acne pmo...and im still eating relatively like shit but ig im doing a bit better

i tried to make a neocities page yesterday but my css page kept not saving properly and it pmo so i stopped. i think i should just. combine the css and html onto 1 doc

i have not done much. still. besides draw. but theres a lot i want to do. but i have so little energy

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ok im back again and its 5 hrs before 2026!! YAY!!!!! i have to finish my goals and shit before 12 eergg.. ERG!!!!!

i watched great gatsby and it was good whatever

why was it highk yaoi hello????? i saw the ending and i was like ook....

the ending got me thinking so like any other normal person would do i googled "is great gatsby gay" and then i went down a spiral and i ended up on a ao3 fic which i read for maybe 2 seconds before i decided it was too long and also i have 0 reading comprehension and i dont want to freaking read during break brah. whatever. i hope that at some point i will have enough reading comprehension and a liking for reading so that i can read stuff on ao3 and b like...an actual avid reader...i just want to be an avid reader of some sort brah...i am so...brainrot video imagery mush FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so with that being said lets do new years resolutions!

A review of 2025 (in no particular order of any kind. very unorganized):

• i was an ok goal setter. at the very least i got to get a little further with my goals this year! I published a children's book, lost weight, got better at playing the accordion, recorded audiobooks etc etc. 
• got through the end of high school successfully! jan,feb,march was especially hellish (scioly, usabo, grandma passing away, parents fighting). i dont recall much. it was just a lot! but now i know a bit more of how rock bottom goes so yeah. i did push myself a bit further during these times, and i am proud of myself for surviving
• bit stressful but overall fun and eventful summer. one of the more successful summer breaks id say where i felt like i had more control overall
• first semester of college! it was fun. some stressful bits but overall a whole lot of fun. met a lot of great ppl, little to no beef...or running into weird ppl so far, and academically stimulating-ish. it was fun being stressed w anyone for finals. and ny is fun!!! there are a lot of benefits to living in the city
• I joined hall council, the medical review club, tried volunteering at a soup kitchen for the first time, got my first pair of docs, had a lot of great talks with my newly made friends
• I also got to talk a lot with my uncle! cant believe that was all this year. i feel much more bonded to my family and also hes so awesome and cool! yay!
• went to first college party -> it was funny. in restrospect it was LOL its a core memory for me n ngan
• tried first edible w ngan and greened out. 2nd edible w tuna and inari and it was better! it still freaked me out a bit but it was more fun than my first time
• ACTUALLy my first time getting high ever was also this year. specifically march 15th. it was fun!!!!!!!!!!! i think edibles kinda suck in how long they last ugh. ya but i learned a lot about myself and like...i felt very humane...and small compared to the world...but in a very relieving way and not like. a bad way
• actually this year in general i feel like was very introspective and disciplin-y. there was just a lot happening. i feel like i kinda fell off of journaling but each time i did come back to it, i spent a lot of time trying to figure more things out, and im really glad im able to keep record of all the thoughts i had this year. id say i grew to some extent this year!
• oh and completely forgot ab ap scores this year but also i do not give A FUCK! but i got a 4 on mechanics for physics c and i am pretty happy for that! everything else I DONT CARE!!! actually the 5 on calc bc was pretty important so its good i got that
• the research paper thing is still ongoing...WHATEVER BRUH.
• i got more serious w art for a bit! like through first semester to now ig. i feel more confident w my art
• oh ya ap art studio portfolio building was this year too! it was fun. i learned a lot more ab art and what i could do through portfolio building ig!
• won 2 scholarships! 1 small art one where i got to have a piece displayed...and they framed it 4 free too!! idk what to do w it. and 1 more bigger one worth like 3.5k hooray!
• got hired for work study! my employers r the nicest ppl ever. 
• prom was also this year. lots of big and fun events w friends! friends all the way! im thankful my friends stuck around w me throughout the whole year. the more i think ab it the more i feel like theyve been around for so long that im sorta taking them for granted. but im very very thankful for them! i feel very loved
• family trouble in general. whatever. same shit all the time. need my dad to die in the big 26. mom's getting a bit more annoying but also like UM idk idkidk! i love her tho shes just like... man....
• some friendship fallouts...oliver go kill yourself. what the fuck ever. and bye bye to sue as well ig. idgaf. i kept in touch w tobby and grace more and jamie idrk but whatever i dont like her that much soooo. and some recent stuff that i recently heard about..BUT WHATEVER! im just kinda like. whatever ab it rn. ugh. guys stop
• painted mural! for hs. fun ig
• i beat the hikaru game! i also went to 1 meeting for the gotham go club and i never went back bc no time + they r lowk scary (and really good at go)
  
• i nearly finished elfen lied but i didnt finish it bc it pmo. also watched a tieeny bit of arcane w sophie and lizzy
• lots of peak webtoons and lowk gooning....bruh these webtoons and audio drams aint even that good its lowk a waste of time and i have to get onto actual peak that shifts my life for the ever 
  
  here r some highlights: the lady and the butler, dangerous convenience store, sign (reread, not as peak as i remember!), lady black is depressed (the dynamics r so gold but its a bit its a bit goony and its ongoing and im too lazy to keep up), Living Will (so peak! and i read it w ngan and sophie as part of a yuri seminar), Love for Sale (OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDD OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD OHHHHHHH MY GOD OHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD), Dead or Alive (art so peak! discovered a great artist through this webtoon), Toumei na ai no utsuwa (i forgot i read this this year what the hell. so good!)
  
  Pling: man.............................................................................................whatever... no comment on this
  
  
  
• a handful of peak games
  
  termina: like barely. but idk
  lost maria: ooh my god it kinda distracted me from studying but whatever. worth it.
  enboys: good! i just like...pressed flower story... and its basically a replica of that so it was cute..i like meisa but also why is he highk misogynistic! 
  King of Demons R: hooly peak. holy peak bruh. me when the peak is back. this is the peak. oh my goodness
  
  
• Movies
  
  did not watch that many through first semester but I began 2025 w Yi Yi which is crazy. 
  Ernest and Celestine was rlly good. mufasa was dogshit. Swing Kids was insanely peak. the dinosaur diary movie for shin chan was like.. ok ig. girls in uniform was so goood soooo goood d good im gonna cry. my new fav queer movie hello???????? mads mikkelsen in polar was insanely (drool emoji), cleaners was cute but most importantly it introduced me to typecast...i love boston drama...its one of my fav songs EVER!, shijo saidai no sakusen was so throwback....i love you i love you i love you this is the cutest movie EVER!, all ab lily chou-chou lowk sucks booty but it inspired me to get a cd player and rlly cute earphones so whatever!, testament of orpheus was kewl hehehe, a taste of honey lowk one of the peakest movies ever i love you i love you, didi rewatch w kade and kaeden and etc ppl and ughh ughhhhh it was so nice to cry and bawl with other people, Little Kalle's Dream of His Snowman (those who know),
  
  
• Music! going off of my spotify wrapped and airbuds mostly
  
  shoutout to
  
  -typecast but only like 2 songs whch are boston drama and when will you ever learn
  -that one lily chou chou album
  -the bends radiohead..and in rainbows too actually. special shoutout to jigsaw falling into plac
  -im not in love 10cc...and also blackmail
  -handful of misc emo songs
  -ryuichi sakamoto like always...but very specifically the album he did w alex heffes w like 4 songs
  -my frutiger aero playlist..and also arpwire's banger frutiger aero playlist
  -aphex twin
  -HUS!! and House Rulez
  -Ring Ring Ring! Visual Arts/Key (did not even think i could shazam this from a flash game. insane insane insane) i also like kanon's soundtracks too
  -first blue sky by placid angels
  -skyhigh by freetempo
  -make me beautiful by her words kill
  -dead messages by hail the sun
  -clementine by elliot smith
  -ethereal by koday jackson but hearing it in a random nearby ramen shop and figuring out its actually from some sega game
  -fortune eyes by ley soul
  -make u whole 
  
  

and obv im sure theres a lot more else i could talk ab from this year bc im sure i did a lot of shit!!! but i think this is enough....so ya!! what a year holy freak

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Goals for 2026:

so i fell off w monthly goals and keeping up w goals overall during college...but i think i still did okayish..? anyways lets quickly review over my 2025 goals tho

• journal at least 5 times a week -> uhhhh its easy when ur on the roll w it. erm! i'll try this again though. 
• be a smart and sly hater -> idk what i meant w this. i was in my hater arc at the time bc of fuckass rebecca and prahbtej that fuckass annoyingass twink but now i dont have to worry ab that so its ok!
• controlled rotting -> im still working on it
• less overstimulation -> uhhh......
• more thought in stress management -> i mean i think ab it
• make friends in college -> ig i was worried ab this! well thankfully i made good friends..and i dont feel that nervous ab making friends anymore so ya 
  
  
  
• get to 128 lbs -> havent checked but my weight has stabilized at a lower weight...i think i recently gained a lot from coming back home tho. FUCK! i have to lock in lowk
  
• more sleep -> LOL.
  
  
• get to 1.5k hrs on pomofarm -> nah. whatever tho
  
• read at least 5 books -> i mean i kinda did bc of lithum
  

lol some of these goals r so funnyyy man im gonna have to recycle most of these for 2026 anyways though AAGH!

GOALS FOR 2026 (not w any specific guidelines):

Lifestyle

1. try to just get off insta and spend more time on spacehey. i actually mainly go on insta now for my art acc but i kinda want to find a more tight...circle of art friends...it will help me improve and will make posting art more rewarding. twitter was nice to reach a lot of ppl but its been getting bad to post art there and the recent update was pretty bad so
2. journal...as much as u can..5 days a week is good
3. thinking more ab my consuming habits in general i think
4. go to more clubs and events
   
   

Health(?)

1. eat well! (i think i will b fine once i go back to college)
2. lets please sleep. stable sleep schedule please!!please!!!!!
3. regular exercise! i have to walk around campus more. i just want more cardio in general and i hate muscle training but i should prob do a little bit for the future...
4. regular shower schedule

Academics

1. get a lab or internship PLEASE!
2. make a habit out of studying regularly and organizing stuff and taking notes and dont try to cram...bruh be a good!! student!!!
   

Misc

1. Be more genuine w relationships and put in more effort! like. be punctual to plans, write genuine letters, be honest, think and care more ab ppl important to me, be mature!
2. Write! i want to get into writing. this is more vague than the other goals  but I'll see
3. learn indifference...! at sme point..

Random projects in mind though i dont rlly want to pressure myself:

• children's book based on lithum reading
• neocities page
• ...a game...

I believe i should get back into the habit of weekly and monthly goals bc that actually helped a lot this year w keeping in touch w myself

so ya i will do it again!!! AAAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to have a good start to the year i want to eb happy and accomplish stuff!!! RA RA RAR RAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i will come back soon again w january goals...but this was rlly nice to type out!!!!

new years in ab 3 hrs and a half!!! Yahoo!!!!!