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it feels like every day i'm learning something new about myself.
i've always considered that the 2022-2024 period was my self-discovery phase, as i quite literally just lived in auto mode. i didn't know who maciel was, i was just following orders, copying other people and doing what my parents thought was cool.
as soon as i got into high school, shit changed. i was in a considerably bigger school compared to my previous ones, which used to be pretty small... which means i had to deal with much more people, and from there i learned a little bit on how to talk better to other people, learned better on how to do school presentations, and there we go, i became surprisingly communicative. that was the key to get to know people more, and in 2023 i basically found my friend group. from there, i found myself... doing things because i wanted to do things, and not because other people think it's cool.
this year, i had some attitudes that... made me notice that in fact, i am still getting to know myself, even if i had a pretty good image of who i was. managed to get my poltiical opinions straight (as i quite literally didnt know shit and i would just not care, big red flag that was thankfully fixed), i finally let my hair grow and i am kind of learning on how to take care of it, i got a job which means i gotta deal with people saying bullshit i don't agree, starting to adopt she/her pronouns as secondary preferred pronouns, and the list goes on. and now i notice that i drastically changed from who i was on the start of 2025.
although i started being very open-minded... i was still very close-minded with a lot of bullshit (like thinking "poly relationships = bullshit" and all people who do this are bad just bc i dont agree with it), and wanting or not, i just started questioning stuff like, now. so it is expected to have a little bit of the "close-minded" behaviour deep down in a small factor.
i changed A LOT, and i always get constantly reminded of attitudes that i had in 2024 that, if i could talk to my past self, id punch him in the face.
2025 was... okay, i guess.
had the time of my life in some moments, but i think it's because 2024 was an incredible year for me so i had some high expectations for this one. it wasn't a bad year either, just... one of the years i've lived.
thank you for reading, i really wish you a happy new year
with love,
maciel
Comments
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ᦓꫀ᥅ꫀꪀꪖ
I think that's the greatest beauty of life, isn't it? We are always changing, learning, and evolving
Aether
Right now I’m lowkey going through an identity crisis about who I am and shit…
Good
by フラヴィオ; ; Report
jadyn
Me being twenty reading this I could cry, this reminds me of younger me so much on discovering who i want to be known as and seen as. Even though Im still young you and I have a long road but since considering the age gap you seem really self aware and conscious of yourself and the others around you. Hold that trait close to your heart because thats rare at this age. Theres a long road to life but keep that same hunger for self discovery and challenging yourself and fears. A bit off topic but remember you’re only in a box if you put yourself in one. Stay true to yourself always!! <3
Friedjellyfish
life feels like reality comedy tv show that has an abundant amount of seasons but they all feel pretty much the same only difference is they replace every cast member except you and your character lives in the boarder between being a main and a side with 50 tons of added lore . ur real dude
IamInez
This is actually so real. I thought I had it figured out last year but just as I got comfortable I had to change everything. I guess I'm changing a lot and many things for the better
ten.sion
I find that self discovery, depending on the person, is something that can be a huge hurdle to cross due to internalized things that either prevent it or perpetuate cycles that encourage not growing. It's a big thing! And I hope you're doing great right now and are proud of yourself for growing, because it's an achievement :> And growth blooms the most when it's rooted with compassion. Wishing you well for this year!
Clanvy, the dream writer
Seeing people who want to know always more about themselves and keeps doing it fills me with joy and determination. Congratulations for what you do. I know many people who keep getting influenced by others all their lives. It's happy to see people who exit those bad cycles. "To know yourself is to know everything around you"
cosmicwves
It was actually nice to know how you changed and grew up as a person. I think being self-aware is such an important aspect in our lives that helped us continuously be more open about change. We might be stranger, but I'm proud of what you've become ^^
thank you so much internet stranger!! means a lot!! :DD
by maciel; ; Report
ShayZ
I believe I once read something along the lines of “saying I’m an artist restricts me, saying I do art leaves the possibility to be anything”. I think this can apply here, confining your era of self discovery to certain years forces you to be very rigid about your identity. Very quickly though it seemed like you broke out of that :). I like to think all of life is a self discovery, so I’m proud of you stranger!
oh my god?? this is so true in unreal ways. thank you so much!! will take that to life
by maciel; ; Report
by ShayZ; ; Report
gabobo
the day i stop saying "i wasnt a real person until (date)" is the day i have finally fully discovered myself (never)
too real
by maciel; ; Report
e 👾
change is always bound to happen, so that includes your perspective on things and how you see yourself. It's awesome, cus truly you never peak cus u keep getting better.
life is about constantly reaching peak
by maciel; ; Report
killer :3
yeah me too, especially as a teenager.
feels like ever since I hit double digits its just like--
"oh all of a sudden I like guys now???
and I might be trans?
oh no I'm not trans I'm just weird?
oh wait a minute, I'm just this...
no maybe that..
maybe I should try out this style..
these people seem cool!"
its like you're figuring yourself out all at once
YEAHHH this started happening with me and my gender identity lately... but this is cool because it makes me kind of explore myself and understand who i am!!
by maciel; ; Report
nah word tho
expect for me its extremely terrifying...
I have conservative Christian parents (not homophobic transphobic, or hateful, just not supportive) so it was TERRIFYING discovering that i'm bisexual...
And I recently (like, 2 days ago ig) found out that I AM INDEED TRANS after searching
"how to know if ur trans" on youtube like a million freakin' times
The name i'm using on spacehey is the name I want and tbh it took a lot of courage to put that out there
TLDR:
doin this kinda shit is scary but totally worth it
by killer :3; ; Report
itrhld
unboxing the true maciel day by day, isn't it amazing? happy new year once again feli <3
KSJFNSJENEJE happy new year etto <3 and thank you
by maciel; ; Report
Dreamy<3Laura
We're constantly evolving, that's what we do best:P
I'm so so so glad you're finding yourself, because it's one of those things that reeeeally takes a lot of time and suffering, but once you do some progress the weight of the world seems to be significantly less kn your shoulders, yeah it will still be hard, but you're one step closer to live... as yourself :3
it really is feeling like that!! :))
by maciel; ; Report
peachleaf
pawsome to read that,,, its fun to be along for the ride so I'm excited to see what next year will bring! :)
me too!! and im glad youre part of it :)
by maciel; ; Report
☣ lპპ
que orgulho de vc maci, nem te conheço irl mas da pra ver pelo seu jeito q vc trabalhou mt pra ser qm vc é
<33 obg lee, to todo dia procurando ser a melhor versão de mim
by maciel; ; Report