naps making me feel worse

i couldn’t sleep at all last night. so today after i was done with college i wanted to take a nap for an hour. i woke up like 20 minutes ago and i feel like shit. i’ve felt like shit for a long time now so it’s not something new but somedays i feel like i can’t bear it any longer and i’m ashamed to tell my friends that i feel so bad that i can’t even get out of bed to eat most of the time. they love me, i know they want the best of me but everytime there’s small talk it ends up with them asking me if i’m doing okay and the answer is no. then they ask me for a reason and i have none. i’ve been depressed for seven years now but it just gets so bad at certain times and i can’t fight it. i have finals in one week and i can’t get myself to study at all. i am so embarrassed to beg my friends teach me one thing or two so i can at least pass. i am so fucking tired of everything. i want a break. and i know i’m never gonna get a break.