Screaming into the Void 12/17/25

So it’s been like 3 months, I sort of forgot this place existed and I miss screaming into the void of the internet on a space I know that no one I know IRL hangs out on 

Not that I think my friends would judge me or anything just that, it’s kinda nice to be anonymous, like you people don’t even know my favorite color, or my lucky numbers, or have bore witness to my anger issues I really hate that I deal with. 

Anyways it’s December, im still at the dead end job I’ve had since this summer, granted I’m doing fine enough here and I did get a raise for good performance. On paper I’m doing fantastic actually and I need to quit stressing. I’m just a little convinced I’m not doing as well as I could be and that I’m going to be fired or at the least reprimanded sometime soon. 

I’ve had a lot of personal conflict between people and while I largely think I’m in the right it does highlight aspects of myself I do no want to carry into the new year. 

I am angry, like all the time. Sometimes it feels random or spurred on by nothing. Sometimes it just feels like every relationship I have is tainted, and the urge to stop talking to everyone I know dye my hair and move away is stronger than ever. However I don’t think that’s and inherently healthy approached and I just need to be comfortable with conflict to an extent. I do want to dye my hair though, I wanna feel like a new person