this is gonna seem stupid, but can someone with aspd or bpd give me their 2 cents on my story?

also sorry that this is messily written I was kind of struggling to pull my thoughts together in a concise way

edit 1: uhh I had intended for ai xia to have smm like bpd but im gonna leave her unlabelled for the time being and do some more research. thats the same with Stella, but having some feedback on what I have at the moment would be good too!

the set up is two roommates who essentially are in a friendship that most people would consider a queer platonic relationship

Initially when I first wrote them, I've kind of thought them to be aromantic people who find  solace in each other in an atypical world who simply did't understand them . (like me)

 but as I did a little more research about their dynamic I realized that this might be a case of soemthing else. It seemed more fitting rewrite them as characters with or features of aspd

for context my original inspiration was this specific intimate dynamic I'd see in alot of media. 

It's of two female best friends who seem a little more than just 'friends,' but not as romantically involved as lovers. Despite how deeply intimate they are with each other. basically like the girly "female friendships" trope lol. 

though ive evolved the concept a quite a bit.  Now it seems  more like class 09 Nicole and Jecka meets SZA and Keke palmer from one of these days

so..ai xia and stella

Ai xia can be described as a  contradiction. Or an enigma. a paradox if you will. she can be emotional, caring and kind. But also sharp, bitter,  withdrawn and apathetic. 

She can care about other people but  be selective at whom she'll be empathetic to. Especially to those whom triggered her and ruined her trust. She can turn apathetic and resentful real quick. 

most of the time her default temperament is this withdrawn type of indifference. She's overall neutral throughout her day to day unless something changes that. 

She can be prickly around those she doesnt know.

Hostile to those whom try to take advantage of her. 

And surprisingly sweet to those she deems safe to handle. Like kids or animals. She finds them cute, and creatures in need of protection and kindness. So to her, it didn't hurt to be nice to them. When they are all fragile beings whom people tend disregard like her. 

Even if either creature can be little shits, she has far more patience for someone's shitty Chihuahua than some shitty coworker.  

largely, ai xia could care less about the whole of society and it's problems. Alls she's worried about is surviving  to get through the day.

this is where Stella comes in! she helps ai xia loosen up and see there's more to life then simply working to surivive. ironic, but Stella does help ai xia embrace spotaneutiy and the indulgence of pleasure. 

a lil bit more on that...

Stella

Like I've implied above is  pretty hedonistic. Stella's as charmismatic as any chivalrous man-- as a  means to get what she wants. 

Otherwise, Stella could really care less  about others and her consequences. Unless they affect  her in a substantial way. Otherwise she dont gaf

 she's reckless and impulsive in pursuit of a thrill. But also so in an effort to escape from this underlying dissaditification she has for life. Which is  worsened by the fact she's very aware about it. 

Though Stella tends to get in trouble due to boredom she's very logical in the lengths she'll go to get out of it. so in way she's kind of the person who clean's up ai xia's volatile messes. Not that always she serves as her janitor, but Stella can soemtimes  help bring her back to center.  

As much as Stella finds frustration in Ai xia's rashness, there is a  sort of thrill at trying to get away with something together. Even better if your company is still amusingly reluctant but helpfully cooperative.

overall Stella doesn't have any deep ties to anyone in her life asides from ai xia(ill get into that) 

She too, is also indifferent to society and the state of her own life.Stella  doesn't really have any major goals or aspirations in life so she  feels as if she's wasting away at times. Wandering through life aimlessly with no direction in particular, counting down the days before she finally leaves this miserable existence.

Enter ai xia, whom is unpredictable enough to keep her guessing but not needy enough to leave her completely drained. 

Stella in her past, (though not as much anymore) had fallen into periods of spirals and depression due to her chronic "self-awareness.." (I guess u can call it idk tbh)

whom ai xia, in the present tries to help her out of. Because if Stella were to break, then what the fuck would she do?

ai xia asists Stella during these episodes through making sure she's cared for physically while leaving her to her to recover mentally.  Though if it comes to a point where she's been in the house too long she'll rouse her to get going. 

oh and just to clarify Stella isn't a huge mastermind all the fucking time. she'll lie if it helps her get soemthing, otherwise she's mostly a lazy bum who occasionally has other people to do things for her. She'll only put in the effort to do smm if it earns her a good payout or benefit in the end. hence; aixia. 

their dynamic

its all over the place and then some. 

soemtimes they love each other and are the best of friends. other times they'll come to fists and go for blow for blow over soemthing stupid and irrevlant...Only to curl next each other entangled in a mess of limbs because the heater was shit and they've decided on takeout ramen as an apology.

the idea was that they've had tumultous relationships with otherpeople in the past, though somehow they functioned better together than they everhad with anyone else Which I realize could be attribute their aspd and personality traits complimenting each other

Ai xia as of now is jaded and indifferent at the thought of love. Though through all her past partners all ai xia  ever wanted was stablitiy and someone to show up for her. 

ironically, (someohow) this person turned out to be Stella.  Infamously dubbed ' the flakiest person alive,' still managed to be labeled as her rock. 

Ai xia in the beginning of their friendship did not really care if  whether Stella chose to stay or leave. But since Stella cemented herself as part of Ai xia's life, ai xia had grown to appreciate and find enjoyment in her company. 

Though Stella isn't just company for ai xia. She's helpful in the sort of energy she tends to bring to the function. she has this electric quality to her that makes any nosy stranger think twice of her presence. She's infamous for the numerous relationships she's ruined or the number of toes she'd  step on just to reach her goals. 

Not to mention her not so marketable personality after the fact. 

So, to Ai xia she was all the benefit. Especially as someone who tended to attract sleazy guys like flies. But what are flies to a kick ass electric zapper? Fried. Thats for sure. 

Meanwhile, for Stella, Ai xia is a source of a sort of affection. Who offers a unique sort of softness not many would allow her. Or softness in the way she'd want. The type of softness that comes without expectation for soemthing in return but, still appreciates what little she's able to give and reward her tenfold.  

Stella  needed an anchor and soemthing with substance to keep her grounded or alive. and ai xia is that thing for her. 

Ai xia in the past  served as a temporary shelter for Stella to come back to whenever she's out partying. she could crash at her house with so much as a bit of nagging but a full tummy in return. so she kept coming back. over and over again. until she never left. 

Not only did Ai xia's free meals and cozy home basically incentivized Stella to stay but it was her indifferent attitude that was the clincher. It meant ai xia was a refuge from a world that didn't take too kindly to people like Stella or by extension ai xia. So it made perfect sense for ai xia to be her home base. 

So Stella stayed grew used to the mudaninity of their routine. late night takeout and trashy tv, the occasional squabble and the morning after a hangover;  Stella curled up by the windowsill bathed in sunlight, dozing away while ai xia watered her plants.  

.. so long story short after awhile Stella didn't need to rely on sex, booze and drugs

.

.

.

but uhh yeah I think that pretty sums them up but ive left some other details omitted for like lore details..but it'd be nice to hear what y'all think so far?