My POV

One thing that I find funny is how people would tell me that they wish they were me, how they wish they were more put together and more carefree. Each time I was told this I always get so agitated and mad because they would never truly understand what it took for me to even get to where I am. I was a child of neglect, I was the oldest daughter of two boys and that by definition made me their care taker, their mother. Since I could remember I always took care of my siblings, cousins, and other kids throughout my life and even still I take care of kids because I'm the oldest or more reliable person they could think of and it's exhausting. 

As I've grown older, my care for the world and the people around me started to matter less to me. I dress in baggy clothing and usually wear my hair in a bun or in a hair clip and anytime I'm with a family member or even with my friends I always get the comment of how I'm now a young woman, I should try and dress like one or to dress more feminine but that's the thing ever since I was young I always pushed away anything girly because it would make me feel weak, it would make me feel like a girl. So now I'm clueless and honestly I just stuck with my default and just dress in baggy clothes and wear my hair up because it's most convenient. I just don't care to please those around me anymore and I just stick by those that I love and keep my peace because at the end of the day those comments and judgments won't matter.