perception

"perception is the foundation from which all things are approached."

Michael W. Ford said it rather succinctly, yet this empiricist quote is interesting when we consider his literary work is largely about the spiritual applications of Luciferian philosophy. what he's trying to tell us is that our senses are the principle substratum that define our initial experiences in the world. how we perceive, and are perceived, can make a big difference in our interactions with others but any layperson could tell you, "don't judge a book by its cover," while the juxtaposition is that, "the first impression is the one that lasts." interesting that we as humans put so much stock into our perceptions of others and how they appear or seem, without necessarily looking "behind the paint." it is much more realistic to judge someone by their actions, character, and aspirations, yet we can be cruel or dismissive of others based on a haircut or a shirt.

let's fall back to a simpler concept: the Serenity Prayer would have us seek "the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." it's not a lofty ask, but it can be intimidating to someone who isn't practiced in its application. often it is easier to understand that we cannot change other people, but we still may wish to do so; therefore we ask for serenity to accept them as they are. what i can change, in my own life, is my perspective and the application of my action. when i move the Serenity Prayer from theory into praxis, i begin to see my own part (however small) in the grand design, and to be able to accept what i cannot change (people and situations), change what i can (myself and my responses or reactions), and can sort between the two.

i'm not perfect at this, but sometimes i also forget that others might be even less skilled.

people are going to be whomever they are, for better or worse. i've certainly never changed just because someone asked me to, so why should i expect anyone else to? in most cases, it's taken extreme measures for me to consider changes, even if they're beneficial to me. i wouldn't have routines without first feeling like i'd have bottomed out without them. i wouldn't have gotten sober from drugs and alcohol without facing consequences. i wouldn't have worked on my mental health if i wasn't first so desperate as to consider ending my life.

but what about the small changes? i've adjusted my diet over time based on new information or feelings. i've rekindled or become better committed to some friendships simply because of the realization that, "we haven't talked in awhile." these things didn't derail my life in a major way, they just required a course adjustment.

i'm not the type of person to stop being who i am, or how i am, for anyone else's account. i was told at an early age not to care about what others think of me, only to be reminded, "what will others think?" this mixed messaging caused quite a lot of self-esteem issues and personality crises in my teens and twenties. i'd like to think i'm more secure nowadays.

at the end of the day, my perception is what's most important. i don't want to be too hard on others and would rather be rigid with myself. but this also means i need to adjust my expectations. not everyone's going to see the world through the same lens as i do. and to be honest, some people just have some foggy glasses.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: you can lead a horse to water, and sometimes you can't even do that. people aren't horses. they're much more complex. i'm trying to keep myself simple.

i can be right or i can be happy, i've been told. maybe this time i don't have to be either.