Why..

Life has been presenting itself many avenues. I feel stuck, unable to make a decision. 

Is it fatigue? Or am I just terrified that I might choose wrong and be trapped in another Hell of my own making.. 

14 years of my life were spent like that and I don't wish to return to it. I'm frustrated that I have a chance at something - a better life. 

But once more find my voice stolen and chains draped over my shoulders. I don't enjoy feeling this way. It's suffocating. 

The anxiety over the simple decisions. Choices that will either make or break my world feel as though I'm fighting off a great beast with a broken weapon. 

I just want to be able to live my life. To enjoy the world that I was robbed of for so many years... 

How can I do that when every decision feels like a knife slicing through my heel? The fear tears through my chest and I am left shaking on the ground. Tears spilling down my cheeks.. 

I'm tired.