changing my life - day 2

jesus fuck this is hard. quitting nicotine is going alright, considering i only smoke whenever my sister is home and i just boof off hers. hoping i can quit it sooner. but i started taking melatonin for my sleep, and im still full time at work. its just slow as hell, crawling through the week only for my "weekend" to be saturday and sunday. i work 2-10pm today, and 7am-3pm tomorrow, so i really gotta pray i can wake up in time for my sunday shift. 

my weird thought recently is religion. last night i had a dream someone close to me died, and it was someone i don't know yet. controversial, but i dont believe in a god, but rather the universe is my god. i feel like everything happens for a reason, and i like my tarot cards as my medium. i want to explore the earth and how it affects us and our mood. maybe im too introspective right now. maybe i need more sleep.

anyway, i gotta start thinking about a workout routine. my bones and muscles are so sore from working my full 40 hours, and i just need to lock in. hopefully, once i move out of the house i'm in, it'll get better since i wont have my uncle harping on me about my habits. like, he's cheating on my aunt??? how does he get a say??

i have to look for a new car too. my little shitbox didnt last that long, so now i gotta sell it. hoping i can get my money back and do a down payment for pretty cheap. my credit score is kinda bad though, so this is just wishful thinking. aiming for valentine's day to have a new car so that me and the bf can go on a little vacation together and see how we handle living together if we're gonna look for apartments together.