dead girl from my old group

theres this girl. who i knew that died from suicide a few months ago. and they were part of the friend group that recently dropped me. ive made little tributes to her death and im pretty sure they got rid of mine because we arent friends anymore. which is weird. because even though we dont like each other doesnt mean i cant grieve the same girl that we both knew and interacted with. 

either way i didnt feel that much when she did die. i felt horrible but. nothing really came out. no tears no sinking feeling in your chest. just. "oh man. shes gone. thats bad" and i kinda went on. i feel bad for feeling this way but i cant get myself to feel as bad as im suppose to when dealing with these situations. hearing about people die. whether i knew em or not. i just dont grieve like most people i guess.