random ass vent

I think it's funny that despite all the complaining/oversharing/venting I do on here, I don't like talking about my academics or career plans out of fear of judgement lmao. I pretty much have stopped talking about college altogether because I just assume no one cares, and I don't need the stereotypes/judgement about the field I'm planning to study (no I'll never say lol) in my life. 

I shouldn't care, but I honestly do. It's lame I know. 

Anyways, I hate feeling so aware of how replaceable and forgettable I am as a person. Idk if this is like self-centered or whatever but I genuinely get like upset when I realize that I'm just simply not as important to someone as I thought I was. I think maybe it's just because I'm overall pretty lonely, I don't have a friendgroup or anyone to talk to. It's not like I can get peer-support from my fucking parents. (I can't get therapy so if anyone reads this don't suggest it please). Also therapy isn't a replacement for friends despite how people act like it is. Your therapist isn't your friend anymore so than your primary care doc lol. 

Idk. I really don't know. This whole year has been pretty shitty and It's going to end that way too.