watashi wa mosugu shinu

hand pointing to chest, fingers rubbing the top of the hand, thumb cutting the neck

"i will die soon,,,,"

god is everything to me. sometimes im angry, sometimes im sad, sometimes i hate. only to him I give all my humanly gestures. my doctor is half of it. its as if he controls the end of my life, as if he knows everything about me down to the core, as if he is my god. instead of healing this body. this doctor who is half of my god told me that i would die soon if i didnt show some progress in healing myself during this high school period. i was certainly afraid, it was only a few years ago that i was able to live a normal life like other teenagers my age. knoeing that i would soon die really stopped me.