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if there's one big difference i notice between me and my friends is that they don't talk about their problems as much as i do. whenever i'm feeling down, i always feel the constant need to at least show that i'm not doing really good to a friend of mine, or talk about it on spacehey. but... they don't. they just stay there and keep going. not that this sort of thing is bad, but sometimes i get worried cause if i tried holding something on, i feel like i'd just explode.
so... guys, how can y'all even do this? i know not everyone has someone to talk, and this makes me worried about some people i know. i've been talking to this friend of mine that helped me during hard times and i always noticed that he never really talks without me asking first if stuff isn't okay. he always tells me that i've been dealing with too much stuff for him to listen to someone else and god this hits hard. he deserves someone that listens to him 24/7.
this does show how some people are strong, though. the fact that they can just do it alone and yet i always feel like i need someone else's help. is this a weakness? am i dependent on people? i've been reflecting about this for a while now and i can't help myself but think that i'm weaker or more sensitive. like, i'm okay. really. just reflective about this stuff.
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euastacus sulcatus ☆
im the exact opposite tbh. even if im going through something, i dont usually feel comfortable sharing my problems with my friends. its like. i gotta have the upper hand in the relationship. i need to know more about people than they know about me
lexx
Some of us were just raised a sort of way tbh. Being forced to suppress emotions leads most people to become highly independent in that sense where they just end up trying to solve their problems on their own. I think environment plays a huge role into it .
Deyuyu
At least for me that stem from not wanting to make my mom worry for me (only recently I started actually venting some stuff to my friends but I still mostly keep to myself)
I don't think you sharing your feelings is a weakness, not being able to talk about your feelings is a bad coping mechanism that will eventually lead to bad effects on your mental and physical health
MurderBear🍭🧸
I feel shameful to share problems, they don't matter as much and usually no one gaf anyway
Btw love css for this blog it's so spacey...
by MurderBear🍭🧸; ; Report
𐂯 。kiim
IMO I wouldn't your weak or something, being able to talk out your feelings with people you trust is a really big step for a lot of people- if anything I'd say your strong! Being able to talk about your feelings a LOT of people wish they could do ^^
Again IMO, I know people who struggle with venting to others / talking about my feelings like your friend- and they normally don't like talking about it to me or my other friends, because they don't want to bother them, pressure them, or annoy them (or me) with their own problems. Maybe that's what's happening with your friend too?
✮⋆˙ Greyson/Bowie ✮⋆˙
some people probably dont because of distrust, thinking they don't matter or not knowing how to talk about it tbh
.°🫀Useless🫀°.
I just genuinely know no one cares and its my problem besides it's not the end of the world my problems aren't that important
Dahliage
I'd argue being able to talk about it makes you strong. It's hard to talk about feelings and what's happening for most people.
I'm an odd contradiction where I won't open up unless explicitly asked then will probably tell too much because I often need the release. But I know that's because my emotional needs weren't always taken seriously or that they were too much for others. So I learned to bottle certain things and not others.
And that's not entirely healthy.
It's good to share! It's healthy to share! Sharing creates connection and, despite what we may often tell ourselves, we need each other. We can't be fully independent of each other and to think we can be is a little delusional (I've been this brand of delusional. I think many of us have).
Just a reminder that there are times it's good to keep certain things to yourself/only trusted people (an unfortunate side effect of people sometimes having bad intentions). So keep sharing and, if it's a particularly intimate subject, just be aware of who you're talking to about it.
You're not weak. You're not weird. You're functioning as a normal person around a bunch of people who, given their circumstances, are behaving accordingly as well. <3
D3rpyFnAF
lets start this off with no it isn't weak to not talk to someone. talking to someone makes you feel heard and seen, we normally don't talk to others because we feel we may not be seen no matter how supportive others can be! it's also scary and frustrating to be vulnerable when almost if not all, of your life you were ignored and belittled for wanting to speak out. people are just tired. tired of speaking only to be hit with phrases we've heard before a million times xx
it's difficult to open up about our past or even present because it's not how WE want to display ourselves. sometimes i don't want a pity look or being told anything i just listen to others and move on, doesn't mean i wouldn't like to talk about my feelings 24/7 but genuinely it's hard to open up after basically being forced fed that you are alone no matter what you do. esp if you don't have outside help such as therapy, or even as far as being undiagnosed because they may not be aware that a disorder they could have, has ways to get THROUGH it.
just be patient and remember everyone learns and expresses things differently. sometimes just sitting in silence or other quality time is the way they express things (i.e not talking abt family but abt their interests is how they may open up! it's comfortable and assuring if you esp like similar things)
blyatphantom
Me being one of those asshole. I have never talked about what i go through, how i feel, and how i don't. clearly, the issue is that i just don't have the thing in me that i can accept that they will hear me out. I feel like no one will, they're just not interested. My sister talks about her problems with me, and yes i listen to it. I know all about her. But she knows nothing, I just don't trust people. I don't know why, but i have never trusted anyone in my real life, let's keep the social media life aside from it. I have never trusted anyone enough to share my inner self with. I feel like they won't give a shit. neither would they care. But i know, that's not always true. Ever since i was little, i never was connected to people's that much. I just stayed on my own, you know, its fun doing what you want. I used to play with mud, i really made a lot of things, I was like the Great Heisenberg. And, yeah i just don't have the guts to say it to anyone. I'm just born this way, I know what it feels like to be ignored. I have been ignored a lot. So i never talk about anything to anyone. Even though i know i should. But i just can't. I'm just born introverted, and this, whole introvertness, the shyness of mine has led me to miss on so many great things. i don't think i typed it out well, I'm bad at writing what i feel in words. I am just bad with words. Be it in speaking or writing its just the same, I think i failed to express myself here too.
Lemonade
A lot of people are scared to tell others how they feel because they were either ignored or ridiculed
Druxy
It's not weak to talk about your feelings/problems! I find that it takes a ot of courage to
speak so openly.
I personally found hard to talk about my problems because of my big fear of judgement and or being too much for the other person to handle. I think many others have a similar problem, but finding a therapist (if possible) really helps.
Emo_Girl:3
The secret is to convince yourself that your mental health is not important and telling others abt won't change anything
AYEEE
i don’t tell my friends that bc it’s something that they don’t need to know about, plus sometimes they don’t care, but they’ll always listen to me rant about my problems
ϰ♗↳↳ ☂♄€ ☾♗❡
As someone who does that, ill b*tch about things that bother me but i don't really sit and talk about them. That's about as far as i go, comedic b*tching.
The reason i don't really talk about things like that is because i learned something a while ago: no one really cares about your problems. there's the exception about your partner, close CLOSE friends, and immediate family but even those you cant count on every time. They might be able to express empathy, but the other person is usually more concerned with your state of mind then they are about the issue itself. That's the reason people get fed up when you talk abut the same problem over and over again.
Also, there's the fact that everyone has their own problems, too. Maybe worse than whatever you're going through and that creates a dissonance between you and the,. The dynamic becomes the helped and the helper.
I also just have the mindset of "Of f*cking course, nothing surprising here" (My life suck on a regular basis" I'm just treating all the bad things that happen to me as a punchline since im always the g*ddamn set up)
Most people grow out of this when life just continuously beats the sh*t out of them. Based on this post, i can assume that either you're young and haven't become almost numb to the majority of your problems, OR you haven't grown out of it yet as an adult (not a bad thing, people operate differently that's just how i observed it) Whichever one you relate to, you still probably will grow out of it. Even if its not to the extent you're describing your friend.
unconsciouswinter
im silent because i’ve reached the peak of despair. who would listen anyway? lol
🪷 jizzl the legend
none of my friends give a fuck and my mom doesn't listen
ThatGuyNess
At least for me its the fear of my friends being annoyed or bringing down the mood
vivaestelar
I think sharing your emotions honestly and not holding it in is much more of a strength than bottling it up. I also used to be like this, and only became closeted off over the years because of bad experiences that manifested into trauma & constant people pleasing. My silly mind learned that trusting people your struggles is bad and that they either will ignore it, laugh it off or use it against you. Even when there are people in my life who actually try, it's still hard to open up again, knowing that potentially, it might end up just like it did with others. Being honest is hard and requires a lot of courage. It's something I'm currently trying to battle, even just by writing this comment :,/
⋖[<]⋞☽
I've the stupid way or thinking that I should hovercome my problems alone since in the future there wont' be always someone around, maybe i'm to pridefull but I think it's more like i'm not used to ask for help, it's strange but my brain says everything is under control, useless to say there're times I silently struggle or even shut down still I find a temporany solution. Be pround to ask for help to find long lasting solutions.