How I got banned from the Kingdom Hall

When I was 15, I got myself banned from my local Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. This story is not only one of my favorites to tell, but something that I am still very proud of to this day. Now for some backstory- I was forced into this cult when I was 10 years old, after never being a religious person. I had been to sunday school with my grandmother on my father's side, and we had attended a JW meeting when I was very small, but we didn't believe or participate in it at all. 

Once we joined, I was forced to have a weekly bible study with the goal being baptism. I would've been the youngest person baptized in that congregation if they had their way. From the very beginning, I didn't believe in this 'religion', but I played along because I was 10 and wanted my mom to be happy. I knew that they wanted me to get baptized, and I knew about being disfellowshipped since my grandma on my mom's side was. So, I knew that if I was baptized, I'd end up being disfellowshipped and wouldn't be able to talk to my family. I decided to delay my baptism as long as possible, by basically taking way too long to get through my bible study.

A bible study consists of two books you go through week by week. the end goal is baptism, with the average study expecting to take ~2 years, one year per book. It took me about 4 years to get through the FIRST book, because I delayed it so much. Basically, I talked a LOT and derailed the study each week, as well as finding excuses to cancel whenever I could. Sometimes I wouldn't prepare so it'd take longer. Delaying my baptism was essential to my eventual escape.

Throughout the ~4 years I was in this cult, I never gave in fully. I was forced to give up so much of what I loved: my favorite shows, movies, my 'worldly' friends, the way i wanted to dress and look, the way I speak, etc. The one thing that set me off though was my mother saying I had to give up my music, knowing I was raised on Eminiem, AC/DC, etc. I was raised on rap, rock, heavy metal, and ofc some pop. Music speaks to my soul, and I am someone who needs music to function. This caused the most fights with my mother, as she expected me to just drop my music. I never did. 

Because of this, I knew I had to get out, but I was trying to bide my time... until I overheard my mother talking to some elders and my bible teacher. They were talking about how they knew I was too smart for my bible study to take so long, and since I had finally finished the first book, that I could just skip the second and go straight to the questions they ask. Its like, i think 144 questions or some other crazy number. They knew that I had read the book already since I was a very voracious reader, and that I knew the answers. I knew I had to just go for it and get out before they tried to force my baptism. 

so this started late 2014, right after I turned 15, but the seeds had already been sown. Anyway, I tried telling my mom I didn't wanna go anymore, but she reacted just as expected and told me as long I lived under her roof, I was a witness and would go to the meetings. She took away my phone and told me if I wanted it back, I'd be a good witness. She took me out of school and put me in online school so I'd 'focus on Jehovah' and be away from my 'worldly' friends. Instead of making me decide to behave, this just made me more determined to leave this cult.

It started off small, I wore a dress that fell just above my knees, because back then the dress code was a dress below the knees, no visible chest, tights, nice shoes, nothing ripped, basically think sunday best. So, dress above the knees, no tights, a ripped jean vest, and I'd have my hair messy. I'd make sure to be ready at just the last minute so my mom didn't have time to force me to change. Of course, I lost some more shit because of this, so I upped the ante. 

Along with the 'improper' dress, I started drawing during meetings instead of taking notes. I also started doing research into the cult during this time while I was at school, and would talk about what I learned, such as the child sex abuse cases, and how it was a cult and I didn't believe in Jehovah, but I was being forced to attend. Again, I lost more things, so I pushed it again.

I started hiding out in the bathroom during meetings, because the bathroom had been renovated to have a secondary room for women to watch the meeting while dealing with small children and babies. no one ever used it, so I would go in there and listen to my mp3 player as loud as possible (usually AC/DC Highway to Hell to scare whoever went in there) and write and draw in my journal, usually exaggerated satanic shit to scare the witnesses since its easy to scare them. 

One of the cameras for the TVs in there was pointed directly down the aisle my mom would sit, so I could see her coming. I'd jump in a stall and say I had tummy trouble since at the time I didn't know I was lactose intolerant, so it was common. I was also openly hostile to anyone who talked to me, mocking them, telling them I hated jehovah and them for worshiping him. My bible studies had been cancelled by this time, since I refused to attend them and even my bible teacher knew you shouldn't force it. 

Well, the elders noticed my behavior only getting worse, and finally called my mom to arrange a meeting to see why i was acting out. Right before this meeting, my mom took away my mp3 player, and even my sheets. I had NOTHING except my clothes, and my school supplies. So, I knew I had to full send this meeting. I dressed 'immodestly' and prepared myself to be sassy and mean.

It was two elders, I forget their names, me, and my mom in the room at the back of the kingdom hall. forgive me if I don't remember all the details, as I was running on pure adrenaline and anxiety knowing this was my only chance to escape. They asked me why i was still attending meetings if I was acting out, and I told them my mom was forcing me to attend. They asked me why i acted out, and i told them I knew this was a cult, about the child abuse, and that I hated their god jehovah. They were taken aback and asked if i did not fear jehovah. I raised my hands up to the sky, and sadi 'SMITE ME, SKY DADDY' of course they freaked out, and after asking more questions about why i was acting this way, and me being outright nasty to them and saying I knew the elders were staring at my body and making comments, they told my mom I was banned from stepping foot in the kingdom hall- she was not to bring me to any meetings ever again as they considered me an apostate. I left SKIPPING.  

My mother was PISSED and tried to hit me, to which i begged her to, as I had school the next day. Begged her to leave a mark on me so i could show my teacher. She just told me to get my ass in the car. I had the BIGGEST smile on my face, which only enraged her more. When we got home she said I was grounded, i said 'as if you let me go anywhere besides school' and happily sat on my bed, staring at the ceiling as i didn't even have my journal at this point. 

She did end up having to give me back all my stuff as once I had gotten banned, I focused on doing nothing at home. she'd tell me to do anything and I'd say no because I had no will to live without my music (yes, I was a dramatic teen but it was to get to her) and I told my teacher I didn't even have sheets on my bed, and kept complaining until my mom begrudgingly gave me back everything. 

so yea, that's how I got banned from the kingdom hall, one of my best accomplishments. truly a case of all the pieces falling into place.