the update

yall the chickfila workers were slow asf today but they gave me extra nuggets 😆

i found out that emoticons were invented on my birthday. cool shit. 

the grass is dyed green on campus. i cant believe this shit. 

also im so so so proud of myself: i read a book. i sat down and read a book. I mean for the past few class days (i only go to school twice a week but hmo) ive been going to the library and just sitting down and reading gender trouble by judith butler. Im still on the first chapter cuz the first day i was reading these girls sitting near me were yapping out loud in half arabic/english so they distracted me. but so far the argument is that the problem with feminism is how to define the female. 

i haven't read an actual book in so long. i didnt even notice how far away i'd drifted from 'always having my nose in a book' to just mindlessly doomscrolling. 

ive also landed on digital minimalism and ppl showing off their edc's online which seems counterproductive when people post it online but im still obsessed. just looking at all the devices that are just purely functional and not distracting. they would be so calming to have. to just live and let technology have its place on the side instead of consuming you. 

ive forgotten how good it feels to do things. like to do things with my hands. like cross stitching (i actually read an article about how cross stitching among other crafts is good for mental health. also i need to upload pics of my projects). and reading a book. like genuinely it feels so different to relive that calm feeling that i havent had in so long because of these stupid fucking computers that i lwk felt high. thats me with my daily screen time of five or less hours. imagine how fucked up ipad kids' mental health is. 

i should mention im a computer science major 😀 so i basically fucked myself over 😀

anyway the other day i was sitting with my coworker that i consider my big brother - we were on break together which is rare asf. and we were talking and having mildly deep but not that deep conversations and he said to me that the only ppl in the store he trusts are me, another guy, and the lady who does receiving. and i just 🥹🥹. i love him sm.