Hear me

God, are you listening?

I'm really tired of carrying a heart

That feels heavier than everyone else’s.

Some days I swear I have no worth at all,

Like I’m made of air,

Like people look through me

And don’t even notice I’m fading.

Like I’m here,

But not really living inside this body.

Am I even human anymore?

Are humans supposed to feel this empty,

This forgotten,

This… small.

I just want to be loved,

Held without fear,

Wanted without conditions.

But I know I don't deserve it.

I’ve been trying so hard to be perfect,

To be the kind of person worth holding onto.

I’ve smoothed my edges,

Bit my tongue,

Learned how to stay quiet,

Learned how to hurt without making a sound.

If only you knew how alone I’ve been.

How the loneliness doesn’t yell,

It just sits beside me,

Breathing with me,

A shadow that never leaves.

How many nights I’ve sat with this silence

Breathing against my ribs…

Maybe you’d understand why I’m tired

And whatever state I’m in,

Whatever mask I wear,

I’m never really happy.

It all feels the same,

Heavy and unchanging.

I’ve been patient.

I’ve begged myself to hold on,

To wait for something gentle,

Something warm,

Something that tells me I’m still here.

But lately,

I feel myself slipping

Not from fear,

But from sheer exhaustion.

Like I’ve run out of strength

To keep fighting the same storm.

So I whisper,

In the quiet no one hears:

God…

If You see me,

If You still know my name

Meet me in this darkness.

Hold me where I can’t hold myself.

Pull me somewhere quieter,

Somewhere my heart isn’t this heavy,

Somewhere I can finally breathe again.

I’m not afraid anymore.

I want to rest

I’m just worn down to the bone,

And all I want is for this weight to finally lift.

Please don’t leave me here like this.

Do whatever You must

To bring me to a place

Where the pain finally loosens its grip.

-dmnd