How can I just move on

The thing is I can't just move on from you. In every girl I look for, I look for you in them. No one can ever be you. You are truly one of kind girl, and just a perfect one at that. I'll wait however long it takes just to hear you say you love me one more time. I wish we would've taken stuff slower, and truly focused on us. Truly my only love is her. I tried time, and time again to try to convince myself that I have moved on, but I still flinch when I see curly hair, or someone wears her perfume. I just wish my pretty girl would come back to me, but I feel like that is just too hard for both of us. Even then I will wait until I see you again (tyler??). You have no reason to apologize anymore. You didn't do anything wrong, and I want you to realize that I will never, and have never felt any sort of hate towards you, because I truly couldn't. November 2024 was truly a time where I felt that life was the best, and it was only that way only, because of you. I've said this multiple times, but someone like you is waaaaay out of my league, and I'm surprised I even had her for even a second. I just wish we could of done more stuff, I could've put in more effort. I have clay, and paint that just sit there as a bitter reminder of what could've been. You say that you aren't right for me, but you were the thing that made everything right. Truly since you left everything has just gotten worse, but I try everyday just to become better, just so someone could love me as she did. I'll wait for the day you come back home, if that day is to ever come.

P.S. if you see this, please ignore the old blogs where I sound fucking insane, I was not thinking right that day lol