Moving on

Truth be told I don’t want to move on, but I know if I don’t I know how drastic I can be. If he’d asked me to pull the trigger on myself oh how I would, if he asked me to do the most insane thing I would’ve done it if it meant just one more conversation. But he wouldn’t ask me to hurt myself, he wouldn’t even ask me to talk to him. The best decision is to block someone you know hates you. You can’t force love nor forgiveness. I just hope one day I can gain back my sobriety, and that one day I never look back at those blades and think that I need to punish myself. I’d cut myself open if it meant repairing everything, but not even my blood could fix things. I can only pray he’s happy someday. And I can only pray the same for myself.