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for long, i've always wanted to help the most people possible. i've wanted to get to understand their reasons to feel bad, see the deepest of their personalities, understand their green and red flags, and just do this extensive, exaustive study about people, while at the same time i develop feelings for who they are and appreciate who they are. that's what i've been doing for years of my life. trying to help people. i think i only did that twice to the point of losing my mind.
on the first time, i got mentally fucked. it was my ex, which i'm still good friends with till today cause we both agreed that she changed a lot of me and i changed a lot of her. it was a mutual help. however she wasn't really mentally stable, and she had depression. like, very serious issues. i did manage to help her, but at what cost? i think i got mentally damaged, too. it took me a while to recover. but it's because of her that i managed to notice who am i and what it is to feel loved, and most of my knowledge of relationships comes from there.
the second time... wasn't good. i developed too much for the other person and i noticed i was hurting them this way. i was constantly sending messages and constantly waiting for their replies. i created those big expectations from this person and it just ended up on me deciding that it wouldn't go right with me feeling this way and i had to work on myself before even trying to create a friendship.
you see, i love helping people. like i said at the start. this... exaustive look at them. people are so complicated and maybe that's what makes them beautiful. but i forget that i also need to be helped. i also need people to talk with and i cannot deal with everything alone. i didn't know my limits for lots of times. i've given too much of myself to many people.
so... if you're somehow in this situation, trying to get to know someone, staying there to listen to them, please, please keep your space. please take care of yourself. please know your limits. because i didn't know my limits, and i regret deeply about it.
you can't save everyone. you're not a "hero" or anything, you're just a living person with feelings. don't blame yourself. shit happens and that's okay.
take care, y'all.
with love,
maciel
Comments
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C://User/SamsonSoltice
aaaaa, I really have no words. Like speechless entirely.
I awfully relate alot twin!!
(Metal sonic rocks)
ahh thats ok thank you for reading <3 just knowing im not the only one makes me feel better already
(HELL YEAH)
by maciel; ; Report
jono
i would rather be walked on by so many, if it meant the people that can appreciate it come to me, i walk a hike knowing of its dangers because the ending is worth it to me
i relate to this so strongly
by maciel; ; Report
꒰୨୧◞ 。m1s4⠀.ᐟ // hanako's wife .🍓 n1 shoujo girl!!
approved by misa 🫶
thank you homegirl 🙏💙
by maciel; ; Report
hola misa te amo solo eso bai
by juuuu; ; Report
cherikizu
that's so real twin, i wish i could say something super meaningful rn but idk how to express it, so i just wanted you to know that this is relatable asf lol
that's okay! thank you for reading <33 means a lot already
by maciel; ; Report
Dreamy<3Laura
Ahh yet another insightful post by Maciel
Helping people feels great, specially if we're talking about a close friend, but yeah you're right, there's a difference between Helping then as much as you can, being there for them and just let that consume you, therapists exist for a reason, if they feel so so so bad they should go to one though I know not everyone has access , you're a friend not a therapist , hearing such negative things and feeling responsible for someone's sadness is something that shouldn't happen. However as I said, when it's simply being there for them and talk them out of negative thoughts, I will do it as long as it's needed , I'm not bothered by that and it's never gotten to a point where is tiring , but yes, if the situation starts to get out of hand.... that's just not your job and as you said it can affect you deeply. It can even be distressing because sometimes you just don't know what to do
And we're people too, you also need your love and support, that's what friends are for right? So if you ever feel like you need it don't be afraid to ask for your friends' for that, they'll gladly help you, you won't bother them :)
Having deep bonds is important but having limits is also very very important, so again very self aware of you as always
thank you, laura <3
everytime something like this happens i always get big support of my buddies, while they also keep it realistic and tell me how i can be a better person. it truly is a blessing to be around people who loves you. i wish more people could experience that
by maciel; ; Report
spacehey a space for friends
It's always better not to care.
when you look at this side, yeah, sometimes it is
by maciel; ; Report
Samon(FAIRY GAYFATHER)
I really needed to hear this lately Thank you so much
you're welcome, sam. stay safe <3
by maciel; ; Report
stay safe broski
by Samon(FAIRY GAYFATHER); ; Report
itrhld
i think you (not you specifically, anyone) should try helping someone as long as you can help easing their pain. once you start feeling the pain in their place, maybe it has become too much
you're a great person (here, you specifically), i told you already. you deserve only happiness from relations. if you'll also be able to help them, then it's fantastic. otherwise, you have learned that boundaries exist
you are doing an amazing job at discorvering yourself... not by chance it's called "character development"
thank you for hanging in
🫂
thank you for helping me hang in. 💙
by maciel; ; Report
thank you for being part of my journey as well 🙏
by itrhld; ; Report