Long awaited update ! (if you cared lol)

It's been a whiiiiiiiillllllllleeeeeeeee.

HIIIII TO WHOEVER READS!!!! Sorry for my sudden disappearance. Life got a little hectic, so I've been trying to regain focus and all that jazz. For starters, being an adult sucks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN EGGS AND CHICKEN ARE BEING RECALLED? WHY IS GETTING A JOB SO MUCH HARDER THAN BACK THEN?? THE SHUTDOWN HAS BEEN GOING FOR HOW LONG NOW??? Observe the shock of every new adult of today's day and age.

Besides the bonkers state of the world, I left off on a bit of a cliffhanger. Love, death, and all the troubles I'm recovering from. I'll do my best to keep this blog lighthearted since currently I'm doing alright. Despite life feeling like it's coming to an end, I'm going to remain hopeful. So, to start this off, I'm job searching. Boring, I know, but I think I actually got pretty lucky. If I get it, at least I can save up to get food and whatnot.

Other than jobs, I think I've been doing better mentally. I've met some really great people and I'm happy to have made it this far. People that actually have the same beliefs, wants, and ambitions. A family. I'm truly grateful to every person I've met either here or elsewhere. To those who have listened to my unending stories and read whatever I have on my mind, thank you.

I know there are people I've left in the past. Some of which I miss, most not so much. I know there might be one person lingering, reading every blog as if it's a letter just for them. So, just for you, please do as I did. Move forward. I learned time and time again that life is both horrid and beautiful. If I can wear a lovely outfit, talking with new faces like I said I would, then it's not impossible. We said what we said. I realized too late, but most memories were fond. Get the help you need. I'll still be cheering for you and every person with a sadness like yours.

Life doesn't end when heartbreak hits. It simply doesn't end until it does. I still don't fear death, but for a new reason. In smaller forms, I've completed my dreams. I've acted, sang, helped, and loved. Is my life suddenly over? Of course not. It won't end until the day or night that it does. Until then, I look for more dreams and do what want in the moment. Despite how scary life is, I find that I'm happy. Not the happiest quite yet, but I'm hopeful for a brighter future. If loss has taught me anything, it was to appreciate every second and throw away the old pains. If life is going to be this awful, then I plan to make it as joyful as I can.

Onto the topic of relationships though. Remember how I mentioned how heartbroken I was? That he definitely didn't like me back and that I hated love? Turns out he liked me back. Aggressive to him meant straightforward, which I apparently was up until I knew I caught feelings. After a bit of back and forth, we figured out just how oblivious we are and started dating. I'm taking things slowly, but I feel an enormous amount of joy each day. I know what I want this time and what I can do to improve myself. So far, pure bliss. I'll give y'all the juicy details some other time.

I don't want this to get too long so I best wrap it up. For those concerned about the family issues I mentioned in past blogs, I promise to update quickly. I wanted to lead this in a happier tone, so that update will get its own entry. As always, thank you for reading and check on my older blogs if you dare muhihihi. Also, HALLOWEEN WAS SO PEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!