2025.11.03

[10:45am] so its actually not arthritis because i got more blood test results back and everything was negative. so most likely i have lupus, but i still definitely have some kind of autoimmune disease. i cleaned the beach on saturday morning and had a good time. that night i started hurting quite a bit so i took some tylenol but it didnt help. its stopped working a couple weeks ago, but im unable to take anything stronger due to me also being on blood thinners. the next day (yesterday) i hurt so bad i couldnt even walk. well i could, but i was really wobbly and slow and needed to hold on to something. my shoulder also really hurt. it always hurts a little but i couldnt even use my arm. i still wobbled a mile to the groccery store with my friends because we had planned to all go together. they were way faster than me and i felt left behind and in pain. but we went to a boba place and i got a milkshake and it was really good so that was nice. my uncle's sister died of lupus so that's kinda crazy. im not of the usual demographic to get bad lupus so hopefully that doesn't happen to me. but i do hope i have it just so i can have some kind of diagnosis so that i can get treatment. i emailed my advisor to ask what prereqs i need to declare a forensics minor, since most of those jobs are with the government and have good medical benefits. it would also help me get good experience to get a gov job in marine biology, which have the best jobs in the field. she said to "ask an advisor" about it, as if she isn't my literal academic advisor. so i went over to the health sciences center to see if anyone there knew the answer, and they told me to just look it up online. so after a lot of searching, i came across a pdf hidden deep in their website that had a list of all the classes i need. its a little confusing, but i think i need to take at least 20 credits a semester to have that minor. luckily most of them can be taken online, so thats what im gonna try. i want as many classes as possible to be online because i have been having trouble walking to classes lately and im afraid ill still be like that next semester. i also work best when things are online because it hurts less. i think i mentioned in my previous post the trackpad i got that helps me write without my arm hurting the rest of the day. idk why the universe decided to curse me with all these random health issues. it knew i was too goated and had to nerf me ig. im hungry but its not quite lunch time yet. there isnt much good for lunch today so i might just get a pizza slice. i need to gain weight because every time i facetime with my parents they say i need to eat more. but im eating a lot and still losing weight. i dont mind though because that means i can eat as much as i want and still be snatched. i probably will care when it becomes a genuine health concern, but for now its the only "good" part about this mystery autoimmune disease stuff. this morning i still hurt, but definitely not as much as yesterday. my legs are very weak and my shoulder hurts to use it, but thats not bad at all compared to yesterday. i wonder if i can still do marine biology as a career. i already cant scuba because of my blood issues, and now i wonder if i can do field research at all if just walking on the beach for a couple hours made me completely disabled for a day. i could definitely still put data in spreadsheets and write grants and all that, but i dont know if any jobs let you do just that. i guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there. for now my focus is jsut making it through the month so i can go home for thanksgiving and see my dog again. i miss her a lot.