I just can't pick with my parents..

Like ik they love me dearly but sometimes it just feels like they hate me. And I hate talking about it bc I'm lucky to enough HAVE parents or ppl who care about me. I love my parents no doubt and wouldn't trade them for the world but they also made me attempt once so.. Uhhh.. 

Like my mom is extremely religious so I'm not allowed to do a lot of stuff like: I can't say "Hey mom!" Bc "that's too American" (She's in denial that she's slightly racist) I can't watch magical movies/shows (The little mermaid, hocus pocus etc.) And I don't get to have sleepover or go to ppls houses.

Obviz shes homophobic/transphobic (to the point where she said they should "SEGREGATE & K1LL the fxxg0tz") And hates anything rainbow even if its not ab gay ppl.

I've been taught to be what they want and it really sticks unfortunately. So whenever I was with any partner from the past I always didn't want to really be near them bc (I'm so sorry for saying this btw) it was disgusting. I actually felt sick when I kissed my last partner bc it felt wrong. And I feel like shit for it because I want to be affectionate and loving but at the same time I want no romance??